Sigma Males And Relationships
Sigma Males are typically drawn to authentic, meaningful, loyal replationships whilst eschewing transient, transactional or shallow relationships. Put simply, Sigmas do not tend to want fair weather friends.
Some of you continue to misunderstand what a Sigma Male actually is. Maybe you’ve been reading or listening to other sources that don’t actually understand what they are talking about, but Sigma Males do not completely shun all relationships and spend all their time alone. Infact, one of the greatest joys in life for a Sigma is spending time with others in authentic, meaningful communion.
Before we continue on the subject of relationships, understand that whilst the archetypes are based on real world observable data, it is more complex and nuanced than pulling out a few characteristics and stating “Sigmas do this, act like this, think like this, under all circumstances, all the time”. The real world does not work that way. Circumstances change, people change.
Let me first of all credit the orginal creator of the term Sigma Male – Vox Day. He has also pointed out that to make the study of archetypes (the Socio Sexual Hierarchy) as useful as possible, you also need to understand that the archetypes are FRACTAL, dynamic and relative.
For example : Let’s say you have a guy who is pretty much a loser in real life. Low IQ, poor social skills, crappy job, few friends, doesn’t attract women in his day to day life. He’s not bitter however, doesn’t attack others for no reason, and is not delusional. By the socio sexual hierarchy, he’s an Omega.
Yet he’s a superb singer and guitar player. He plays in a band every week, and girls occasionally throw themselves at him. When he’s playing the guitar and singing in a band, he’s the alpha, the top dog in that environment and he gets the majority of the girls. In that context, he’s the alpha.
Now let’s suppose he get’s busted for selling drugs and is sent to prison. He’s placed in the highest secutiry wing amongst the most dangerous and vicious in society – the murderers, rapists and psychopaths. He now barely registers on the hierarchy at all and is right at the bottom of the rung.
He’s a plaything for the other prisoners. Even in the prison environment the socio sexual hierarchy plays out. Have you ever heard about women sending letters to notorious and violent criminals and visiting them in prison (in some cases they even get married and have sex).
So don’t sperg out over the archetype, or the label. Use this theory as a heuristic, but don’t think in a binary fashion. Appreciate the nuance.
Also, understand that the archetype is based on the observable behaviour of the individual in question. You can have a Gamma who is very rich – but he’s still intrinsically a Gamma, despite his wealth and high social status. A guy might LOOK like an alpha but behave like an Omega – low confidence, doens’t know his own thougts, cannot relate to people. And so on.
Sigma Males and relationships.
I’ve said before that Sigmas are outside of the hierarchy by choice.
But in order to remove yourself from the hierarchy, you have to find a way of surviving and even thriving without following the typical path to success that most people rely on. It’s no surprise to me that I am making my living by making videos and content like this and distributing it over the internet.
I don’t need to rely on anyone else in order to thrive. It’s a business that anyone can start with nothing more than a cell phone , a PC and an internet connection. You don’t need to deal with all the usual tiresome constraints associated with running a more traditional business.
(By the way, I believe the internet has lead to the rise of men moving towards the Sigma lifestyle and learning these behaviours and mindsets. It’s perfectly possible, as I’ve outlined in some of my other videos).
I mention this to tease out an important character trait of Sigmas that attracts them to these kind of relationships. Because of the drive to remove themselves from the hierarchy and rely soley on themselves, Sigmas have a close relationship and respect for dealing with reality.
Think that through. If you are brutally honest with yourself and your survival and financial security relies on accurately observing reality, does it not seem obvious that you are going to be attracted to authentic, meaningful, long standing relationships with both men and women? Is it not obvious that you’ll tend to eschew transient, transactional, or shallow relationships?
Notice I said relationships. That doesn’t mean that Sigmas don’t have lots of flings or seuxal partners in their lifetime. Generally speaking I have found it to be a truism that if a man has the ability to get lots of women, then he is certainly going to act on it. But as I’ve said in other videos, Sigmas tend to evolve constantly throughout their lives and the same Sigma that used to sleep with 5 or 6 women a week on occasion at 25-39 might very well end up settling down in his mid to late 40s. But, he’s still the same guy.
Now if you want to understand this at a deeper level it’s useful to consider the r/k selection theory.
R/K selection theory (credit Anonymous conservative)
The term was first coined by evolutionary biologists decades ago, to describe the behavioural and mating strategies species use to best adapt to their environment.
In environments where there are freely available resources and predators who keep the environment below carrying capacity, the population will tend to shift more towards r – selection. This means they will tend to be highly promiscuous and have little interest in rearing their young.
Why bother? In environments like these, populations explode rapidly because resources are literally hanging off trees, falling to the ground, or indeed by eating what grows out of the ground itself. A rabbit is a perfect example of an r selected species.
A K selected species will occur where resources are scarce and they have to hunt for their livelihood. Thus, K selects cannot afford to produce numerous offspring, and they have to rear their offspring to adulthood, teaching them all they need to know to thrive in this hostile inimical environment. A perfect example is a Wolf.
The evolutionary biologists noted that r represented the maximal reprodcutive rate of an individual, whilst k represented the carrying capacity of an environment. In other words, if you have a garden of eden environment with plenty of resources and crucially predators keeping the population in cull, r selection will produce the maximum amount of offspring.
A k selected population will tend to lead to stasis and stabilty. K selected species will never lead to over population because they are aware of the limitations of their enviornment, and expend so much time and energy in rearing their young.
Now think about how this applies to humans and in partiular Sigma Males. We’ve established that Sigmas have to deal with reality in order to thrive, and value deeper, meaninful relationships based on their intrinsic behavioural drivers.
This sounds like scarcity based thinking and thus leads to k selected characteristics. So they will value limited government (remember they want freedom and independace), lack of regulation, personal and property rights. In other words, conservative.
But they are also attractive to women and have many opportunities for mating. As I’ve said, I’ve noted it’s pretty much a truism that if a man can get with lots of women, he will tend to do so, especially in his younger years.
Bear in mind that r/k selection applies to reproductive strategies in biological populations. The key word is reproductive – but when you consider humans you, of course, have condoms and birth control. This complicates matters but the theory still holds true.
It seems to me that Sigmas by and large lean towards K Selection in their instincts and personality traits. They have to deal with reality head on (they yearn for TRUTH), so they are brutally honest with themselevs, accept scarcity as a fact of life, etc, etc. This is why they are drawn to authenticity, loyalty, and meaning in their relationships.
However due to their high position on the socio sexual hierarchy, they have the capacity to be highly promiscuous and more often than not grasp these opportunities with both hands.
So how to explain this seeming contradiction?
Well understand that humans is complex, and the theories of r/ k selection and the socio sexual hierarchy are intended to be heuristics – they are not hard and fast rules. Also bear in mind that there are other factors that are drawing influence on a mans tendency towards promiscuity and lifetime sexual partners. Remember that men are biologically predisposed to mate with as many partners as possible in their lifetime (note mate – not reproduce).
Here’s 5 factors that can help explain the contradiction:
Contraception and the lack of real world consequences for their promiscuity.
The same K selected traits that drive Sigmas to face reality and remove themselves from the hierarchy also leads to them dealing with reality in terms of their attractiveness to women – and aiming to improve it assiduously. You can only do this by testing it out, approaching women and throwing yourself head first into the world of dating and pickup. Thus by approaching women and improving over time they are naturally going to sleep with more women.
The same psychological drivers still exist as part of the genetic makeup. As Sigmas age, they tend to trend towards settling down later in life – K selected.
As Sigmas innately have K selected traits, they will take parenting very seriously and will make more effort than most to avoid accidental births. This gives them more opportunity to lead a promiscuous life.
Individuals and populations can move in and out of K selection based on the prevailing environment or circumstance. Thus, in an environment where there is rampant debt fueled consumption and spending (including welfare) and money seems to grow on trees, the population will tend to move towards r selected behaviour. The minute it changes towards scarcity , K selection begins to rise.
So, when an environment moves towards r selection, some of the women will be easier to acquire, especially for an intelligent, self disciplined Sigma. Despite their intrinsic genetic makeup, they won’t turn down easy sex if it is offered pracitically on a plate (see my example of taking an easy option a few weeks ago in a nightclub in Poland).
It’s also worth noting in that example that I pointed out that a hotter girl was also expressing an interest at that time. But since I am 43 now with several hundred notches, and since in that particular environment in that particular time I was feeling lazy, and since I no longer have a burning desire to prove anything to myself, I thought fuck it and went for the easier option. Again, a graphic illustration that the people are complex and multiple factors are continually drawing influence in the dating and mating arena in the real world.
So there’s a basic introduction to a Sigma Males predeliction for particular kinds of preferred relationships. I hope the brief introduction to r/k theory helps you to understand the factors at play. Bear in mind that modern human societies with birth control and a welfare state skew the picture completely, but the theory does help to explain behavioural drivers from a biological imperative standpoint.
I suspect that as times get more tough (which they well, it’s a mathematical certaintly), jobs become more scarce (I haven’t even mentioned the decimating impact of AI yet), we’ll see a swing back towards more K Selected behaviour as we begin to resemble a more red in tooth and claw state of nature.
During these difficult times, learning and inculcating the Sigma traits will help you to survive and prosper.
There is yet time to exploit the benefits of an r selected population, because when the shit hits the fan and survival is at stake then women will clam up for the “player” type and revert back to traditional dating practices. But you can still thrive in those times if you learn the Sigma mindset and way of life, because you’ll become mentally (and probably physically tougher, more self reliant), and able to survive and propser on your own without having to rely on the more traditional ways of making money.