Sigma Male : Outside The Hierarchy
Hierarchies In Nature
Hierarchies exist everywhere in nature. Look at a pride of lions and you’ll see a consistent, repeated social structure : a much larger number of females protected by 1 or more males, with the male lion being the alpha and king of the pride.
The larger the pride, the more females and males – but the mix is always the same – more females protected by fewer males.
The male’s job is to protect the pride from other male lions. Since the lion is an apex predator , the only real threat is other lions (apart from man, of course).
So, the males guard the perimeter and are in constant danger of a most brutal and gruesome death, literally ripped to pieces if they let their grip on power slip. Of course, male lions are capable of great tenderness too.
The same types of hierarchies play out all across the animal kingdom, from wolves to chimpanzees. The same shockingly visceral and brutal battle for survival and dominance continues day after day, year after year, decade after decade.
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Wolves assert their dominance over other wolves, silverback gorillas beat their chests and bear their teeth to other great apes.
Human Male Dominance Hierarchies
We humans have evolved beyond these crude and violent battles (at least in the civilised world, by and large), but in the most important sense the dominance hierarchy is still very real.
Right now the flavour of the month is Jordan Peterson and his discussion of the male competence hierarchy, but the hierarchy amongst human males has been recognised for decades.
And what is the hierarchy for? What do human males compete for? At the top of every man’s mind is females.
Money is of course critically important – but women trump all. It’s easy to make a credible case that most men want to stack bills to get women anyway. Everything the ambitious, competent man does who strives to better himself is usually driven by a desire to attract a quality woman.
Put another way, women are the no 1 commodity for men.
And so the hierarchy is played out amongst men too. We’re probably all familiar with the typical socio sexual hierarchy with the alpha sitting at the top, betas underneath, then Gammas and finally the poor unfortunate Omegas right at the bottom, ground down by the weight of the hierarchy stretched out above them.
But there is an elusive kind of man that rejects the hierarchy : The Sigma. The Sigma takes a contemptuous look at the male hierarchy, and asks himself 3 important questions:
++ What’s in that for me?
++ Why not go straight for what I want (hot women), rather than competing with all these other men?
++ Fundamentally, why play that game?
Metaphorically speaking, he says “fuck all that hierarchy shit”, removes himself from it completely and goes for the hottest women anyway. When he grasps what is involved to be successful, the true Sigma sits right at the top of the sexual hierarchy – opposite the Alpha on the top rung, but is completely removed by choice.
How does he remove himself from the hierarchy to acquire the best possible women? Let me give you some key insights.
Removing Yourself From The Male Socio Sexual Hierarchy
Recall my related video “top 3 attractive qualities of a Sigma Male”. The number 1 quality is to think for yourself. I realised years ago that in the most important way that I didn’t need to play the game by the same rules that everyone else does to get the women I wanted. Infact, I didn’t need to even play the game at all.
This comes from being strongly internally referenced, and building a powerful identity. For example, I recall when I used to have a job, I’d always judge a man based on his observable behaviour, by my OWN standards, what I considered important. This is known as being internally referenced.
I wasn’t blindsided by his power or prestige. I made my own judgement on the kind of guy he was, based on a key metric that was important TO ME.
Identity And Internal Reference
Occasionally I would clash with the team leaders and managers. I had to follow the rules, of course, as everyone who has a job does. I couldn’t just say “go fuck yourself, I don’t respect you” if I was given tasks that I didn’t relish, if I was disrespected, etc. That would be dumb.
But, I’d look these guys in the eye, do the task or whatever was required but deep down I would know that if we were out socially I would blow these guys out of the water. I’d know that I could probably get their girlfriends or wives to want me.
This wasn’t from a jealous, bitter Gamma perspective, plotting to take over their position. It was simply a cool recognition that come the weekend, I could go out and pick up hot women and take them home to bed in a way that they probably could not. I recognised I was already heading towards the top of the socio sexual hierarchy because I didn’t need power, status or prestige to attract women. Just my own intrinsic value (stemming from a powerful set of beliefs) and excellent game.
I didn’t recognise the dominance hierarchy at all, nor did I respect their place in it. 1 on 1, on a night out, I knew I would always come out on top.
Fast forward to 2019 and I am now completely removed from the hierarchy in virtually every sense (and working hard to insulate myself even further from all forms of influence. I don’t have a boss. No one gets to tell me what to do. Luckily for me, the skills, powerful mindsets I have acquired over many many years are more strongly assimilated now than ever.
The internet has changed employment patterns forever. It’s no surprise that a Sigma Male like me is attracted to the freedom that working online affords a guy like me.
If you want to write a book, there’s no longer a need for a middle man publisher – you can publish your own book. You can produce your own online video courses and membership sites. With hard work, good ideas that resonate and a respect for your audience, you can build your own brand and fan base.
There’s never in history been a better time to be alive for a Sigma Male
The same impulse that caused me to reject the hierarchy, ignore it, and go my own way all those years ago has lead me to a place where I can live where I want, do what I want, talk to who I want…And still attract top tier women without even playing the game that most men play.
Is the hierarchy real?
The first key takeaway you need to extract from what I have told you so far is that whilst the sexual hierarchy is very real and governs who gets the best women, it only really applies IF YOU LET IT.
Think about it. We live in a world where there is an abundance of food and shelter. Women in the West have most of their needs met, and they don’t need a man for resources or protection.
The socio sexual hierarchy exerts a strong psychological force on you, because it has to be reinforced to keep the structure of society intact. Without swarms of beta males producing and paying taxes, society as we know it would disintegrate overnight.
However, you can shrug your shoulders like I did all those years ago, say “fuck all that, I choose to ignore it”…And get the women that you want anyway. But, you need to build very powerful mindset qualities to do so, be strategic in the kind of women you go for, and where you meet them.
Powerful Mindset In Action : Excerpt From My Book Primal Seduction
Here’s an excerpt from my book, Primal Seduction. It’s taken from the interviews section where the interviewer and me recount a story of a night out in a nightclub in Minsk, Belarus a few years ago. It’s illustrative of the mindset qualites of being internally referenced, judging things by your OWN standards…And going directly for what you want.
Steve: They were all hot girls that I was talking to; I would have taken all of them. It was getting to the point where I was going to knock one over, so I ping and force the issue, and then see which girl is receptive enough to walk with me hand-in-hand somewhere so I can move it along. So I was trying to force it from them. It can happen very quickly. I was getting a sense of whether they were going to go very quickly.
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Nick: The process is very solitary, very predatory, and you were very mobile as well. Imagine letting a tiger into the club, that’s what would happen. It would like prowl around, sniff everything, look everywhere, stop when it wants to, move when it wants to. You were not building a base at any one particular bar. You were not building a horse shoe with people all around you like an extravert would.
Steve: No. That’s a bunch of bullshit. It wasn’t like building bases in a horse shoe and all that kind of thing. Like I said, it’s very direct and very raw. Girls in that environment are offering receptivity and it’s your job as a man to go take advantage of that. All that other stuff about building static bases, that’s just being a faggot.
Girls can see the strong identity. They can see that you’re a bit dangerous when on the prowl and they like it.
I’ve had girls that say to me, “Oh, you’re on your own,” – this is in England – and you say, “Yeah,” and they say, “That’s very cool.” It might be weird for an externally-referenced man to be out on his own but it’s completely congruent behaviour for an internally-referenced introvert – he’s just going out to get what he wants from the world.
Girls think that it’s dangerous, and they can read the subtext of it (that you’re going out to meet women).
The key thing is to be unapologetic. Be very confident in what you’re doing. It’s raw. Be sensitive to the signals that they’re giving out, but you also have to mix in – and this is where the desiring and loving women comes in as well – the raw sexual stuff.
It’s not clumsy and it’s not, ‘What am I going to get out of it?’ Appreciate their beauty and let it pull you into the moment. Then you’re going to naturally display this dominance to them, this tiger kind of thing, prowling around and being very sexually forward.
Conversely, a tiger will protect its cub or its mate to the death. Girls get that sense of tenderness and soft dominance from you as well. You’ve got to have both of those elements.
Nick: I want to give a contrasting metaphor, because you do see other guys doing ostensibly the same thing but getting it completely wrong. We were at Piccadilly Institute in London a couple of weeks ago and saw men who are also going round the club solo, but they look more like a dog going from table to table begging for scraps. It had a very different vibe to it, even though nominally, on paper, you can describe the two things as being similar. When you experience them personally it’s completely different.
Steve: It’s about what’s going on in their head, hence why we made the mindsets section the centrepiece of this book. It all comes from mindset. Those men are not feeling entitled to the women when they approach them. They’re not clear. There’s too much clutter in their heads rather than the thick pure band of sexual intent and mindfulness that crowds out all the defeatist self-talk. When you’re pulled into the moment by women’s beauty nothing else is going on. Everything else is filtered out. There’s no room left for those bad sub-communications, they’re just squeezed out, because you’re totally focused on the girl, and you want it in a very pure way.
Misunderstaning The Sigma Male
I want to take this opportunity to correct some misunderstandings about Sigma Males. When you produce content like mine, you tend to get Gammas who want to co-opt the discussion to signify to themselves and others that they are not sexual rejects…But instead they CHOOSE to be alone, they CHOOSE not to be with women. They don’t have time! Of course women constantly make themselves available to them, and they can go and pick up women any time they want.
Keep an eye out for this. Make no mistake, it’s not easy to be able to pick up hot women with nothing but your own charisma, mindset and intrinsic value – especially when you get older. You’re bucking all the trends if you can do so. Whilst it is perfectly possible, it’s not commonplace, which is why I’ve written a book and produced my 5 hour video series to explain it. Bear in mind that quality women have guys throwing resources, attention and attention to these kind of girls all the time. You have to stand out powerfully to get the results that I talk about.
Equally, guys misunderstand Sigma Males and think that it’s just about being wholly selfish and giving nothing. This is equally wrong! In my book Primal Seduction I talk about “desire and loving women”, and there’s a whole chapter devoted to how you have to give of yourself, share your love with a woman on a moment by moment basis. This doesn’t make you a simp, this makes you a highly actualised attractive man who is not threatened by women. Those who misunderstand and think they will “get back” at women by withdrawing their time and attention are getting totally the wrong end of the stick.
Finally, the notion of constantly being alone. It should be blatantly obvious from what I have written already, but being a Sigma Male does NOT mean being constantly alone. You have the power to pick and choose your woman, and eventually there will come a point where you may want to settle down. The point is that you have the CHOICE with whom you settle. Sigma males are lovers first, not providers – but it doesn’t mean they cannot find a partner later in life and have kids if they choose. I may well choose this path myself.
Now gentlemen, I hope you’ll agree that this sounds very compelling. It is! I have yet to find a greater joy in life than picking up a beautiful girl, entirely from my own efforts….Alone…As a Sigma Male.
So there’s a brief introduction to the mindset of a Sigma who rejects the hierarchy, removes himself and goes straight for what he wants. Of course this is only an introduction. There’s tons more stories like this in Primal Seduction, and I break down this powerful mindset of a successful Sigma Male, step by Step.
In Secret Society I break down how YOU can actually approach women, alone, pick them up but do it in a way where you’re not pretending to be something you’re not..Where it relies on this thick band of sexual intensity…And where you don’t NEED to do 500 approaches just to get a date.
Fuck all that, as I am known to say.