What Is A Sigma Male?
A Sigma male is a man who lives outside the hierarchy. He does his own thing and dances to his own beat. A Sigma Male is also very attractive to women, at the top of the socio sexual hierarchy alongside the Alpha
There is a male hierarchy, where men stratify themselves on a totem pole, and the higher up the totem pole you are the more rewards of life, social and sexual, accrue to you. That’s why everybody wants to be the king, the chief executive, or the rock star.
The diagram below may help to explain where a Sigma Male fits on on the totem pole:
Please note that Sigmas are just as high up the sexual Totem pole as Alphas – but are outside the hierarchy by choice.
As I mentioned in the video description of this blog post, if you want a full breakdown of how to become a Sigma Male, travelling to foreign countries and meeting local women for a casual (or serious) relationship, check out my book Primal Seduction and video course Secret Society. I break it down step by step, in minute detail so you can follow it too.
Sigma Males Vs Alpha Males
Sigmas often share many of the qualities of Alpha males. They are usually self posessed, self sufficient and charismatic. Like Alpha males, Sigmas can be very successful with women – but without having to build up an infrastructure around themselves.
It’s common to split the typology that originally came from zoologist’s studies of primates, which is you have an alpha, a beta and an omega.
The alpha is the king, the leader of the troop, the head lion and everybody else follows him. He lays down the law and the females naturally gravitate towards him because as the leader he is sexually attractive. He is best able of all the males to impose himself onto the world both in accruing scarce resources and in determining how the troop will live.
The woman who successfully aligns with the king gets to live like a queen.
The mass of the population below that are the beta males. They are the followers, they are the cubical drones, they are the normal guys and they follow the alpha. They’re fighting over the women that the alpha doesn’t want, the leftovers.
The alpha gets first pick and the betas get the rest.
There are not many alphas and each one can only deal with so many women, so there will be some hot girls in the leftover pile. Nonetheless, there’s basically a surfeit of males relative to the small population of younger and hotter females and that’s why most men, being beta, experience women as something that has to be chased, as something you have to qualify to and as getting lucky when you get one.
In contrast the alpha lives in abundance with the women chasing him. Then at the very bottom of the pile you have the omega male. They are the socially invisible, the losers, the dregs, the guys living in their mum’s basement playing World of Warcraft. These men experience women primarily through internet porn and escort agencies.
That’s how the pick up sphere naturally characterizes men. What naturally flows from this typology is: if you want to be better with women, you need to become “more alpha.”
How Sigma Males Can Attract Women
The main thing you’re going to see on my site and my products is an expression of Sigma Game and mindset. Whereas most pick up theory is telling you to be the alpha male, I tell you what to do if you’re the sigma male. Let’s first explain the difference between sigma and alpha.
Most books are designed to either mimic the behaviours of an alpha male or to transform yourself to actually become him. Now, the problem here is that with a lot of men, this personality doesn’t fit. A lot of men don’t want to be the alpha male, because being the alpha male basically requires you to be extroverted.
It requires you to go into social situations and dominate them. It requires you to achieve dominance over men, which means you have to deal with other men. It requires you to have a static social circle which feeds you.
For example, doing lifestyle game or being the head hippy in a commune, the rock star in a band or CEO of a company, or the VIP table host in the Vegas club. What these all have in common is they are static social environments that you insert yourself into and then dominate until you become the leader. So that has a couple of limitations for some men.
How Sigma Male Game Differs From Other Types
Some men don’t want to stay in one place. They like to travel and feel more nomadic. The trouble with these static social constructions is if you leave them, they’re gone; you no longer harness their power as the resident alpha and you have to build a new one.
LOL! Fuck all this noise.
Another problem is what if you’re introverted and just don’t want to hang around all these people all of the time? What happens then is you can’t do an extrovert’s game, because you just can’t be bothered. I personally really can’t hang with men for an extended period.
When you actually look at the weekly schedules of the guys who harness this extraverted game, they frequently go out four times a week and have a particular club on lock-down or a particular social scene on lock-down. For me personally I just can’t be bothered.
I’ve got other things to do; I want to read my books. I want to work. I want to travel. I don’t want to work all week earning the money necessary to fund the financial extravagance of a party weekend – I’d rather have free time all week and pull women for the price of a coffee.
So this creates a natural problem in game – if you’re a sigma male and everybody is telling you that the way to be good with women is to be alpha there’s an incongruence there.
You’re immediately putting on an act that doesn’t fit and wearing clothes that don’t suit.
Famous Sigma Males
The best examples are in movies. Think of Clint Eastwood’s character in A Fistful of Dollars. He rolls up to town on his horse where there are established alphas, the two Mexican gangs, and then he goes in and plays them off against each other.
He leaves with the gold and the woman. Think of Wolverine in X-Men. He’s the drifter living in a cabin in the woods, coming into the mining town sporadically to make money and drink whisky. There are many, many characters of this type and they are all super cool.
Tyler Durden’s first character in the beginning of Fight Club is a maverick living in an industrial-zone dilapidated house and selling soap from fat stolen from the toxic waste of liposuction clinics. The sense is that he’s outside of the hierarchy, he doesn’t play by the social rules, he doesn’t try and construct lifestyle ecosystem. He just does his thing.
This guy gets it.
The Sigma Male Nomadic Lifestyle
I have lived a nomadic life in many countries and many cities around the world. When I go out to nightclubs to pick up girls, I often goes to a club where nobody knows me from Adam, and then build it all myself on that night to get the girl.
When I do daygame I wander around, the bar, the café, the shops, the street, and I just go and pick up the girl with nothing more than the shirt on my back.
Please see my video course Secret Society where I break down the steps to successfully approach a girl you’ve never met in a foreign country…And start dating her or even build a long term relationship.
For the sigma male, everything he needs is carried within him. It’s very, very portable. Now, that creates its own set of challenges and opportunities. You can hop on a flight to Bulgaria, spend one week in Sofia and fuck some girls. That’s the upside. The downside is that everything has to come from you. You can’t get a system funneling value to you.
You can’t get a bunch of monkeys to run around town casting young girls to be models for your agency then arrange “casting” sessions. You can’t sit as a big man in your VIP club with your Ferrari outside and expect the girls to come. Whereas the alpha can patiently construct a mountain of value to sit atop, the sigma does everything fast, by himself. That’s demanding.
The Sigma Male Lifestyle : Benefits
So I’ve whetted your appetite about life as a Sigma Male. It’s time to discuss the benefits of the Sigma lifestyle.
We come to the section most of you will be interested in.
I’ve been asked quite a few times how you square showing that you like a girl in the moment…Being the cad, the man that loves women.
Think of it like this : the Sigma male is ever elusive. He never totally gives himself.
He’s ultimately a loner. He has few friends, but the friends he does have mean everything to him.
When you meet a girl although you might have love and affection and enjoy her company, you never totally give yourself to her. She is not your mission in life, and never will be.
No woman ever is.
Sigmas don’t do this on purpose as a tactic. They simply value their freedom so much that the thought of being in a relationship makes them feel trapped, like a caged tiger.
Babe..There’s something I gotta tell you…
This is of course very intriguing to girls. When they get to know you, they want to be the girl that finally snares you.
It also translates well into the R Selected archetype that so many of you seem to want. The guy that she can be indiscreet with and live out her fantasies. The guy who she will give her best sex to.
You would be surprised how many women crave this kind of relationship. When you’re a true Sigma male, you naturally throw out these signals (even if you don’t want to) and women pick up on it…It draws a certain type of girl in.
This isn’t a technique per se..Rather it’s a character trait you probably have a natural predeliciton for. If you do, you’ll probably find your head nodding at this post, being inspired by the picture I’m clumsily trying to paint.
It all begins with your mindset. It started 27 years ago for me as an angry young man who couldn’t stand the “chode” mindset of my peers…Reading this post might well be the start (or continuation for you).
You choose who you associate with
I hated having to interface with people who I didn’t want to in an office environment. Nothing pecks at your frame and mindset more than having to deal with low value, chode mindsets.
It was worse because I lived and worked in the UK. God alone only knows how bad it is now with the rampant anti white male bias.
Possibly the most significant upside to being a Sigma male is that this is so unacceptable to you that you won’t just sit on your arse and accept it…You will do whatever it takes to get out of it.
The idea that you had to work to get a half decent slim girl and make her stick around. The media bias, where men are portrayed as useless adjuncts to battle axe women.
Fuck all that. I instinctively knew something was wrong with this equation at age 16. I recall very clearly being angry at the media portrayal of men in the UK.
Once you figure out how to step outside of the system, you’ll never want to go back.
(NOTE: I don’t recommend breaking the law. I’ve stayed within the law my whole life)
I do not think I could ever return to my former life.
Building Extreme Self Reliance
Sigma Male Lifestyle
What does this picture mean to you?
To me, it represents freedom. Everything I own in this world fits into those two bags.
Some of you reading this may recoil in horror at this. What would life be like with no possesions? With no roots?
Others of you may be thinking…Tell me more!
Well, let me explain.
Think about the typical character traits of a Sigma. His number one goal is freedom and independance.
It’s therefore no surprise that Sigmas end up becoming self reliant and engineering their lifestyle so they don’t need to rely on other people.
It’s anathema to a Sigma to have to ask for permission for holidays. To be forced to work with people who he wouldn’t choose to associate with. To have a boss.
If this resonates with you, then you too probably have strong Sigma traits and the thought of living from two small bags doesn’t scare you….Rather it intrigues you.
I’ll tell you a quick story from one of the best times I remember with my Dad. He was a high flying business contractor – a Programme manager. The kind of guy who would be parachuted in to an ailing business…And tell people like Richard Branson what to do.
It required an extremely strong frame, self confidence and self reliance…And a set of brass balls.
He did the sums and worked out that it’s cheaper and more convenient to buy a motorhome and live in it rather than rent accomodation in the contract location.
One weekend we went off together to Brighton and had a great time for the weekend. I remember clearly parking up on a Friday night in a public car park…Visiting the local pubs and restaurants…Seeing the beach..Sleeping comfortably in the motorhome.
And then driving the hell away on Monday morning without paying a penny (perfectly legally too).
I loved the freedom of it, and sticking up 2 fingers at landlords, the local councils etc. I come from a generation where it was inconceivable that I’d ever own a home.
If I cannot…Then I am damn sure I am going to have an enjoyable life instead!
Good times…And total freedom
Takeaway: Living the sigma lifestlye teaches you to love freedom above all else.
You’ll become self sufficient and self reliant. You have to be. You’ll learn all about relying on yourself whether you want to or not.
When the bad times roll around, you’ll be the first to adapt.
How To Become A Sigma Male and Get Dating Success
When you’re attempting to pick up women as a Sigma Male, you cannot rely on any of the usual props that most guys can.
- You probably don’t have an established social circle – especially if you go to different cities a lot and don’t stay in one place.
- You won’t want to rely on status and money. You want a girl to like you for who you are
- You won’t see the girl again and again throughout your daily life
So you need to develop skills in picking up women as a lone wolf.
If you want to know more, please check out my book Primal Seduction and video course Secret Society. I break down the entire process to become a successful Sigma Male, without having to spend years learning by trial and error (as I did!)