There are now 33 videos in my Sigma Male Series, which just goes to show that I’m really excellent at talking about myself, giving it a lable, and then extrapolating it out to make it intereting and applicable to a wider audience!
Weak joke aside (Sigma is a term originally coined by Vox Day and has been around for years, though I’ve talked more about it than anyone else, to my knowledge), you might be forgiven for thinking there is only upside to being a Sigma.
After all, I’ve shown you videos of me picking up women, I’ve described the life of travelling for years on end and pursuing women all over the world…
I’ve talked about being free, an independant thinker, answering to no one…But I’ve also said it’s an extremely tough way of life. It’s interesting to note that on the most popular Sigma Male video (Sigma Male Game Explained) – I see comment after comment telling me how much of a Sigma they are, and thanks for helping them to “understand themselves”.
As I outlined in the response video to this “I think I’m a Sigma..Oh Really?”, the 2 most important traits that tell you whether you’re a Sigma is :
1: You are very attractive to women
2: You are removed from the hierarchy.
I’ve spent 32 other videos expanding on these 2 concepts – but I’ve not yet covered some of the downsides. So let’s start now. NOTE : As ever I will be brutally honest with you, as I always am with myself – to me, this is the key to growth by dealing with reality. There’s a ton more on this concept and its importance in Primal Seduction and Secret Society.
The Beginnings Of A Sigma
Without wishing to tell you a weepy, long sad story of my childhood, I never really fit in with other kids all that well (there is a reason for all of this, so bear with me) I was a strange case – I was a superb athlete, everyone wanted me on their sports team on athletics day because I won all the sprints and strength events.
I was physically very strong. I was also near the top of every group, though certainly no genius..I’d estimate 120 + IQ though, perhaps heading towards 125-130.
And yet..I didn’t quite fit in. I flat out refused to follow anyone else, I wasn’t witty or popular with girls, and to be frank I was unusual looking and ugly. I had a gap in my teeth, sticking out ears, dark circles under my eyes, and greasy skin that later turned into bad acne. (I didn’t get rid of severe cystic acne on my back until I was 30).
I was what you would call a late bloomer. This was the beginnings of Sigma traits – I believe most Sigmas are forged from early childhood isolation and pain. If you’re the most popular guy in the group (the alpha), or solid, dependable guy that everyone likes and who gets with the odd girl (a Delta), you’re not likely to develop the early FUCK YOU WORLD that characterised my early childhood.
I recall it well. It is still with me now to an extent, in that I occasionally get pangs of anxiety – even at age 43, despite all the work I’ve done, all the experiences I have had, all the several hundred women I have slept with.
So we get to the concept of higher and lower performing archetypes. I’m sure you’re all familiar with what can happen to you when you’re on a downswing. Your mood suffers, everything seems liek shit, you don’t do the work that’s needed, you lose focus.
Well this is one of the key downsides to being a Sigma Male. The lack of a work ethic unless it’s a subject that REALLY interests you.
Because Sigmas are characterised by their strong desire for independance (note my other related videos where I talk about removing yourself from power centres and never letting anyone have power over you), you naturally devote yourself to work that only interests you at that particular moment.
How is this possible? Well, as a Sigma you naturally insulate yourself from anyone having the powre to dictate to you, so you can basically stick two fingers up at the working world and work only on what you’re interested in.
Whilst this fierce desire for independance and whimsical nature is great for leading a self determined life…It comes with a downside of a poor work ethic if you’re not excited or enthused about what you’re doing…Especially if everything else in your life is not going well.
I know this only too well. As I’ve mentioned a few times, I’ve recently emerged from a very tough streak where I lost everything and had to rebuild business from scratch..It was the worst 8-12 months of my life in a very long time.
And it was totally my fault – I let things slide, precisely because I became lazy, complacent and the work was not interesting to me. Classic traits of a low functioning Sigma when he lets things slip.
Now if you’re listening to this and thinking shit that sounds like me, I have turned it around and it was through hard work, discipline but also things developping and a routine for my work life. Basic things that do not come naturally to me. I’d suggest you do the same.
After meeting my close friends again when I came back to life and returned to living in Poland, he told me I had changed..Become more humble, with more of a steely resolve…More action and less talk. It was humbling but necessary.
Not to put too fine a point on it, I was slapped around and bitched out by life, but since then I’ve taken a root and branch look at my life and worked on eradicating everything that I don’t like about myself (my anger issues was another thing).
The work on yourself never really stops. One point I’d make right now before the comments from narcisstic Gammas – please understand it’s about rounding out your personality to become a better person, not navel gazing and worrying excessively about yourself. I see that so many of you do this. It’s not an attractive trait.
I remember one incident very clearly. There was an army recruitment drive and they came to my sixth form (sixth form is something UK kids go through from 16-18 where they do A Levels.) It prepares you for University.
They lined us all up in the sports hall and “beasted” us all. We had to follow orders – do 10 star jumps, 10 burpees, 20 press ups, climb up the rope, run around the hall, etc.
It was exhausting. Some kids took to it with relish, eagerly following orders to prove their worth. Some were too physically weak and tried hard but lagged behind.
What did I do? I found the exercises easy – I was the fastest and strongest there remember – but I kept asking “what is the POINT of all this? Why are we doing this – it’s a waste of time”
I didn’t know then of course, but that is precisely the kind of guy they don’t want (as a grunt at least) – someone who cannot follow orders unless he first understands and actually agrees with them. Another classic Sigma trait.
This can translate into the working world. It’s tough for a natural Sigma to fit in , especially with operational work. I remember my first job after university was working on an IT helpdesk. It drove me insane – within a few months I had to invent jokes and stupid things to do whilst on calls to keep my interest up, and I was constantly looking for ways out.
Again, lacking the work ethic of a delta, but with the independance mindset of a Sigma , but lacking the knowledge, hard work and discipline to strike out on my own. A deadly combination and a complete pain in the ass for most employers.
It was basically the only full time job I ever had. I qucikly transitioned into contracting work where the focus wasn’t on operational tasks, keeping the machine ticking over, but delivering new projects. If you ask “how do we do this then”, the answer is “fucked if I know” – that’s the whole point.
You have to figure it out – remember the Sigma trait of thinking for yourself? That was much better for me – again – it fits in better with Sigma traits – but even then I found it hard to be successful and keep my interest. I didn’t like working with or for other people who I wouldn’t choose to associate with. I could respect my bosses when I could see their competence , and I could get the work done..But it didn’t enthuse me..I wanted to do my own thing.
I have talked you through these 2 key stories because they illustrate 2 key downsides to Sigma traits, namely almost pathalogical disinterest in tasks / work that don’t enthuse you, difficulty fitting in with people who you wouldn’t choose to associate with..I remember how painful it was on occasion – even once or twice berating people I worked with and their “chode mindset”.
These 2 traits make Sigmas tough to work with. Contrast that with a Delta, who turns up , asks “what do you want me to do”, does the job competently (usually ahead of time) and does it with a smile on his face. Everyone loves a Delta. They are the cogs in the machine upon which civilisations are built. Sigmas most definitely are not, at least by nature.
I am not 43 years old, and I am still learning about life. I did a ton of work on myself mentally (and physically, including cosmetic surgery) to round out my package and make myself attractive to women. Nowadays I am working hard to harness my natural intelligence and build a stronger work ethic, even if the work doesn’t immediately interest me.
(By the way, I do think this is a generational thing). I’d say guys who are now in their 60s and 70s definitely had a stronger work ethic than my generation (Gen X), and the milennials are even worse than my generation. But the pathalogical disinterest is something that is unique to Sigmas, I think.
The point is that we all have to work on ourselves if we want success in all areas of life, unless we were born and dealt with a really good hand by nature (I do not believe I was, and I presume most of you listening to this were not either).
So don’t think it’s all rainbows and unicorns for a Sigma Male. It’s just a label after all that denotes predictable behavioural patterns, and the socio sexual hierarchy as it was originally conceived by Vox Day was to help you understand OTHER PEOPLE, not navel gaze and think continually about yourself.
If you’re one of those guys who is tempted to comment and tell us all how Sigma you are, I gaurantee you that you are nowhere near as interesting to other people as you are to yourself.
For the vainglorious commenters who are still tempted to write out that comment, I leave you with the words of Vox Day himself :
Now, it is important to keep in mind that it serves absolutely no purpose to identify yourself in some manner that you think is “better” or higher up the hierarchy.
No one cares what you think you are and your opinion about your place in the social hierarchy is probably the opinion that matters least. There is no good or bad here, there is only what happens to be observable in social interaction.
Consider: alphas seemingly rule the roost and yet they live in a world of constant conflict and status testing. Sigmas usually acquired their outsider status the hard way; one seldom becomes immune to the social hierarchy by virtue of mass popularity in one’s childhood. Betas… okay, betas actually have it pretty good. But the important thing to keep in mind is that you can’t improve your chances of success in the social game if you begin by attempting to deceive yourself as to where you stand vis-a-vis everyone else around you.