Sigma Males can have just as much success with women as Alpha Males, but their way of attracting them is very different. Look at the sexual market hierarchy picture here and you’ll see that Sigmas sit right at the apex of the sexual hierarchy – but they are removed from it by choice.

sigma mindset

Socio sexual hierarchy

This means that there will be practical differences in the way that Sigmas pick up women.

Fortunately for you guys I’ve lived a nomadic life for years on end and figured out how to pick up the best women effectively as a Sigma male. I’ve also trained many guys over these years how to pick up women as effectively as possible, with minimal chance of rejection.

I’ve developped a systematic approach, and in this video I’m going to introduce some of the elements of my system, so that you can find out more about successfully picking up women as a Sigma Male.

Becoming more attractive to women basically involves maximising your attractive traits in two key areas, : mindset and technique.

Mindset is what is going on inside your head when you talk to women. To get a maximally effective mindset involves:

Improving your self esteem – fundamentally do you actually like yourself?

Learning universally attractive masculine traits.

These are charcter traits that are appealing to all women, regardless of age, country, race, cultural influences or political beliefs. They appeal to women all over the world. In my book Primal Seduction I break down 11 of them and tell you how to get them, step by step. I’ve made a video about the top 3 which you’ll find in this Sigma Male series.

At a high level you can think of your mindset as being the engine of a car. Without the engine, that car is going nowhere.

Mindset is incredibly important. You might know guys in your life who are out of shape, lazy, poor and seemingly without any redeedming qualities whatsoever – yet they do seem to be able to pick up women. I gaurantee you that these guys will have some if not all of these universally attractive masculine traits.

Technique is what you actually DO when you talk to a woman. It’s just as important as mindset, but to get the best possible results with women you need both. I’ve met and trained guys who generally have a good mindset but have appaling technique. When I trained them and gave them some key insights and technique changes, their results went through the roof.

Clearly, technique can generally be changed more quickly, but mindset takes a little longer. Both are perfectly possible to change however (I’ve seen it happen and changed my mindset over the years myself too).

In my video series secret society I break down in detail the most efficient way to pick up women as a Sigma male. When I say efficient, this involves having to approach low numbers of women before you get one into bed), in a way that doesn’t involve rejection after rejection.

When I say low numbers using my system, I’m talking between 1-20 from a completely cold approach – not hundreds. This is in the daytime, in a nightclub, bar or whatever.

Just a note : if you think having to approach 100 women to get one into bed is spectacularly bad then you don’t know what the average is for guys who attempt to pick up women completley from a cold approach.

I’ve been involved the the dating community for about 10 years now, so I can cut through the bullshit and smoke and mirrors and outright lies in the community. It’s not unusual to approach over 100 women before getting a girl into bed. This is a cast iron fact.

Now these are bold claims I am making about the efficacy of my system. So here’s a couple of pointers to introduce how my system works.

To get a little geeky,imagine it like a radar chart. As you can see in the example, the radar chart depicts strengths in key areas – imagine this for a hypothetical man who wants to be attractive to women. What you want is as many high marks in as many of these key areas as possible. So technique and mindset is divided up into key components and you want to score maximally in all of them.

That’s what you want to become as attractive to women as possible. I promise you with some work it is perfectly possible to maximse your abilities. Now before some of you object it’s all about looks, I’ve addressed this in my related video “Isn’t success with women all about looks” – where I acknowledge upfront that looks ARE important.

Bottom line : If you take your physcial looks as a baseline – let’s say you’re a 6, then with maximised mindset and technique and aesthetic, you can expect to get and 8 and so on. I’ve seen that played out time and again, and I think that’s pretty close to how it works in the real world.

When you cut past all the dick waving you see when men get together and discuss this stuff (for example on forums or in a bar), you’ll see that about 99% of the male population would be overjoyed to settle with a girl who is two points hotter than themselves.

Think honestly to yourself about what I am saying here and I am sure you will agree with me. Wouldn’t you be happy with a girl two points hotter than you?

So , what are these fantastic attractive mindset and techniques? I’ll list out some here, and briefly describe them to you so you can get an idea of how my system works.

Let’s start with technique number one and it’s accompanying mindset belief : forcing IOI’s. The terminology comes from the seduction community. I personally think it’s a bit geeky, but whatever.

An IOI is an indicator of interest. It’s a sign that a girl is attracted to you.

I invented the concept of FORCING IOI’s when I was 16. It’s basically a technique that you can use to FORCE a reaction from a woman to indicate that she’s interested in you. This can be done in a bar, on the street, in a coffee shop or wherever.

There are a million ways to do it. You can point at her, give her a wink, nod sternly at her or even just throw out an innocuous comment to her. When you force an IOI, think of yourself as a sonar radar sending out a “ping” signal. When she returns the ping positively, it’s like a handshake – she’s acknowldging that she’s interested in you. This is a green light to proceed.

To make forcing IOI’s work effectively you need 2 things : The right mindset and beliefs to know what an IOI actually means (hint : it means she wants to fuck you), and the awareness to actually spot an IOI. They can be very subtle, fast and hard to miss.

I trained guys over a number of years and I noticed that lots of guys have very poor awareness. They wouldn’t know an IOI from a girl unless she literally came up to them, unzipped their paints and started noshing on their cock. (I am not joking). Naturally this means they have poor awareness – they cannot SPOT an IOIO – and poor beliefs too – they don’t BELIEVE that the girl likes them unless she noshes on said cock, or delivers a sworn statement.

strong ioi

A strong IOI

I’m really not embellishing much here buy you get the point, I hope. You need the right MINDSET and TECHNIUQE combined to make this work.

Now, when you use this technique it should be obvious that what you are doing is making each and every approach count. You’re trying to get a green light BEORE approaching but in a PROACTIVE way. People misunderstand forcing IOI’s because they think it’s passive , i.e. you’re just standing around and hoping you get a signal from a girl. This is wrong.

I’ve had occasins where I’ve been VERY agressive about forcing an IOI from a girl , and I recount an example of this girl in my book Primal Seduction.

I literally prowled around like a tiger in front of her off an on for about 20 minutes before I approached – because I could spot she was interested in me even though she was trying to hide it. Incidentally this is a very strong IOI but incredibly subtle. When you have a finely attuned sense of IOIs this is the sort of thing you can do and to outside observers it’s like a Jedi trick.

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The girl

Now the interesting thing is, as I describe in my video series Secret society, forcing IOIs is a simple but life changing technique because it opens up all sorts of doors. How so? Well, think of forcing IOI’s as a portal into awareness.

The very first video I put up on this channel over 6 years ago is called “Sex Is Everywhere”. In it I describe that women are just as horny as men, and there is a world of naughty sex out there which is just hidden from the vast majority of the guys. It’s why my video series is called the Secret Society.

I will quote the page on my site where I desribe the Secret Society : Men who walk through the world and can read the language of seduction. Men who have the knowledge, confidence and mindset to have choice with the best, most desirable women – that the average guy will never have.

It’s a truism. Women are throwing out these signals ALL THE TIME , but the vast majority of guys don’t see it – and if they do, they don’t have the corect beliefs to act on it and make it happen with the girl. THis is the difference between a top flight player who can consistently get girls, and an average guy who sleeps with 6 girls in his entire lifetime.

Let’s take anothe technique from my secret society video series that I think is super important: creating sexual tension and it’s accompanying mindset trait.

This is probably the number 1 thing that guys get wrong if they are actively approaching women and even getting phone numbers. What tends to happen is the guy takes what he thinks is a low risk approach – so he can approach girls and start a conversation and even get the number – but ultimately it goes nowhere.

This is why you get guys who misunderstand their game and can spend years chasing their tails, thinking they have problems with their “text game”. It’s wrong. There isn’t really much to text game except in about 10% of cases. Where the guy is actually going wrong is in their initial approach. The girl is politely giving out her number or trying to get rid of the guy by giving their number – but she has no intention of ever following it up.

This happens because she has insufficent intrigue or attraction for the guy. IN a lot of cases, it’s because the guy didn’t create sexual tension. He got stuck on level 1, talking politely with the girl – even making her laugh – but this means bugger all and doesn’t move him 1 millimetre closer to getting her pants off. What’s missing is the crackle of sexual energy and sexual tension.

There is an art form to creating and managing sexual tension. It’s a flow of energy between man and woman, and it needs to be managed properly. If you are constantly pushing and ramping it up, you’ll fry the girls circutis and possibly come across like a psychopathic weirdo.

If there isn’t any at all, you’ll just be some boring chode who is taking up her time. Some women love to stand and natter for more than 10 miuntes at a time, they love it!

I personally don’t have time for all that and I am not wasting my time on girls who have no interest in me, so I advocate creating and managing sexual tension enough to get the girl on a date, or even to kiss me within 4 minutes of me approaching her, or take her into a toilet or my house within an hour and be balls deep inside her – whatever is appropriate at the time.

If this sounds like magic, check out my realted video create sexual tension where I show you me doing this with a girl on the streets of London. It’s an excellent video because I’m using all the sexual tension technniques, pushing qucikly but also withdrawing at crucial moments so I don’t fry her circuits.

This takes time and practice to be able to do. Eventually, as with forcing IOIs and building your awareness, you build the ability to be able to “sense” where the girl is at in any stage of a seduction, and know instinctively what to do next. But, you have to do it dozens if not hundreds of times.

This is just a brief inkling of my system. There are 11 universally attracative traits that I describe in minute detail in my book Primal Seduction – including how to build them yourself – and a ton of techniques in Secret Society (5 hours worth). Forcing IOIs and creating sexual tension are 2 of them.

Some guys have a fear when I talk about this stuff that I advocate learning nasty psychological tactics and techniques or turning into an asshole. Not true. Infact, I am well known in the dating community as being unique in that I advocate unflinching honesty with girls, and nothing but love.

Resenting women and trying to trick them is psychologically damaging to both parties and I have passionately argued against it for YEARS. I’ve repeatedly said the seduction community and the manosphere (where you probably heard of terms like Sigma Male) is on the wrong path.

No, I am interested in being psychologically healthy, growing as a man, and coming from a base of respect and love for women. It’s the only sustainable long term path if you want continued success througout your life….And you want to grow your self esteem, behave with dignity and class, and grow as a man without harming vulnerable women.

I could talk for hours about this but this should serve as an introduction. I’ve included links in the description below this video to the Sexual tension video so you can see it in action yourself. Also links to my book Primal Seduction and Secret Society. Please do check them out – and start seeing for yourself that sex is everywhere…And as a Sigma Male, it’s time to start getting some yourself.