Paying Girls For Sex VS Dating Girls: Costs And Benefits

Steve Jabba

By Steve Jabba. Find out more about Steve Jabba here

Is paying girls for sex worth it?

I’ve been getting a few comments on my Youtube channel recently to the effect of :

“One way or another, you’re going to pay for pussy. Whether it’s going on a date and paying, or by paying for travel to get access to the girl. Or even by paying with your time.

So you might as well save your money and just straight up pay for a hooker. It’s simpler and you won’t waste your time, and long term it works out cheaper too”

❓Difference Between Paying Girls For Sex VS Normal Vanilla Sex

The first question is: What’s the difference between paying for sex and having sex with a girl you are dating? What is the difference between transactional and validational sex?

Firstly, it’s a qualitatively different experience. I can confirm that I have indeed had sex with a girl I just met, or am dating , and have had sex with a hooker before. It’s a totally different experience. When you have sex with a girl who likes you, she engages with you, looks into your eyes, holds you, there is an outpouring of affection and lust intermingled into one.

When you have sex with a hooker it’s wooden, passionless. Whilst she might enjoy the physical sensation, there’s no affection, love or feeling there.

The second obvious point is what comes after. We’re not all emotionless robots, and I suspect I am not the only one who loves the affection from a girl after and during sex. I enjoy actually going out with girls who I am seeing, visiting cities, going for walks, and watching movies together.

I enjoy the whole dating process, feminine energy and companionship just as much as the sex itself, if not more so. Infact, as you get older, you learn to value the companionship and dating more than the sex. This is obviously missing from just having sex with hookers.

Likening sex with a hooker with a girl who likes you is analogous to saying if you pay a fighter to take a fall is the same as knocking him out through skill. It’s the same as bribing someone to laugh at your jokes, and then saying that you’re a funny guy because people laugh at your jokes. The two are not the same at all.

Thirdly, There’s a certain mean spirited, depressing, squalid bottom world connotation to constantly consorting with hookers, which these commenters seem to miss. It’s like living in the Morlocks vs living in the light. A guy who’s only access to sex is via prostitutes has basically given up on life. In my view, in the majority of cases, it’s also totally unnecessary.

I used to read sites like, and often they would post pictures of themselves. There were a significant number who were physically attractive. Take a look with clear eyes as you walk around, and look at guys you see with girls. Are they all lean, strong jawed, tall and jacked?

The fuck they are. Especially in countries further away from the West, it’s often the girl who is better looking than the guy, and if you actually look at it objectively, the disparity isn’t often that great in the West either. Anyone can improve their dating lot without giving up and just bonking hookers constantly. That is really no way to live.

It seems to me that commenters who write comments like this are probably lower on the socio sexual hierarchy , as delineated below. Probably an Omega or Gamma. In most cases, I’d imagine Omega, because only Omegas are literally unable to get sex in the conventional way without paying for it , in their present situation.

socio sexual hierarchy

Bear in mind, Omegas are the kind of guys that will leave the house without showering, combing their hair or brushing their teeth. They’re the kind of guys who are completely oblivious and uncaring of their physical appearance, and their social skills. So they’ll stand too close to you when talking, or make all manner of basic social faux pas.

Gammas are much less likely to make these basic mistakes, but turn people off by their toxic and fundamentally dishonest behaviour. The root of a Gamma’s problems is dishonesty – and it starts with dishonesty to themselves. If you recall, I have stated several times that one of the key components of dating success is dealing with reality and facing it with brutal honesty. It’s even a chapter in my book, Primal Seduction.

So in the Gammas’ case, he’s wilfully shutting out reality, whereas the Omega is either too low IQ or has simply given up to the extent that he no longer cares what reality tells him.

In either case these issues can be worked through, with hard work, some creative and useful ego destruction and applied effort. Don’t think for a second anyone is exempt from making the effort either. Even in advantageous countries like Poland where I am now, I need to make an effort to go out and approach women, which often isn’t much fun when the weather is as cold as it has been for the past 3 months.

Not to mention the years of effort required to be able to live independantly and have access to some of the advantages that Poland has to offer. Guys like me who live like this have taken all sorts of risks that 95% of other guys simply don’t have the stomach to take.

The point is, every man has to work to get quality women in their lives. But as I hope you can see, there is a world of difference between transactional vs validational sex.

Finally, I’d point out that whilst you want to make it as easy for yourself as possible, and don’t want to have to work hard to pick up girls, by participating in the dating game vs giving up , you keep yourself sharp. You will generally need to be in decent physical shape. You’ll need to keep your social skills up to scratch. You’ll need to have ambition and hope for the future. In general, you’ll need to keep your shit together in a way that simply giving up and either fapping constantly or paying for sex doesn’t require.

So as difficult as the dating game can be sometimes, don’t give up. And certainly don’t try and drag others down to your level if you have given up by falsely equating paying for sex with getting it from a girl who genuinely likes you. That’s not on, and it spreads misery that others really don’t need to hear.

Now if you DO have the right intentions in place and want to make progress, please check out my book Primal Seduction and Secret Society.

I produced these high quality training materials for guys who want to make rapid progress in their dating lives, without paying for hookers. The links to access the products are in the description below.

Get access here

Until next time!