not getting laid

Getting laid in 2019 for an average guy is more difficult than ever. In this post I’ll show you exactly what you need to do to get laid…Fast!

Read this guide to get laid asap and start to enjoy a happier sex life.

Common Reasons You Are Not Getting Laid

“I need to get laid so bad!”. If you’re familiar with these thoughts, here are the most common reasons why you are not getting laid.

Not Approaching Women

This is by far the single biggest reason why there are a lot of unhappy and lonely guys who are not getting laid.

Think about a typical guys night out:

You often see a bunch of guys standing close together “having a good time” .

You can get a sense that there is something a little forced and strained about them and they don’t appear to be really enjoying themselves.

They don’t appear relaxed, enjoying the moment and each others company.

chode crystal

Typical signs of this:

Over raucous laughter and back slapping or low energy, not talking much, a sense that the party is elsewhere.

You’ll see the odd brave soldier break ranks, head like a meerkat, darting furtive glances around the room, looking for girls.

Observe more closely and you’ll see a swift expression of animal longing on his face and an almost audible sigh as he turns back to his mates again.

If you stay and observe for long enough you can sense the tension rising. Everyone in the group is thinking the same thing “For fuck’s sake when is something going to happen, when am I going to get laid?” but no one does a thing about it.

The talk and banter might well revolve around women but everyone carefully skirts around the subject that no one is doing a thing about it and everyone is desperately trying not to lose face by (gasp) potentially getting blown out.

Result: No one is getting laid!

Solution: Before you go out on a lads night out, think of 1 or two stock opening lines that you can use to get a conversation going.

Just use that line to approach, and let the chips fall where they may.

My guide to approaching women can help you get this down more smoothly

Weird Behaviour / facial expressions

I once went out to a singles night in London because I find it quite amusing to see how desperate women act when they want some cock.

There were quite a few guys there who had the “rape or kill face” that I’ve seen all too often.

OK this might be a bit disrespectful but it is interesting to watch how men and women act in an environment where it is *expected* that they will approach and talk to each other.

The rape or kill face appears I think because a guy hasn’t got the checks and balances of being in a group and therefore has less impetus to socialise and keep face.

Now, if I can spot this, don’t you think that women can too? I’ve used these lighthearted examples just to illustrate a point.

The fact is at any given time in any given venue, only a small fraction of guys actually take matters into their own hands and just have a go.

How Men Get Laid In Other Countries

This is accepted behaviour in the UK but in other countries – Italy, some parts of Eastern Europe, the opposite is true.

Men are absolute HORN DOGS over there and try it on with women all the time (a lot of them are sleazy like Pepe Le Pew but that doesn’t matter right now. That can be fixed with just a few behavioural changes)

pepe le pew horndog
Tight game mate!

Getting the kind of women you like means you might well have to make some big changes to your beliefs, grow as a man, improve your body, posture, get more presence, etc etc.

But you have to start somewhere and there is no reason why you can’t start today.

Depending on where you start off, you could start getting results almost immediately. If you’ve got a halfway responsible job, if you’ve travelled, had girlfriends before, then you’re well on the way there!

All you have to do is have a go. Go and talk to her. Anywhere and everywhere – bar, nightclub, street, library, on the bus or tube, street. Just think of a simple opener, start a conversation, and let the chips fall where they may.

What you say really does not matter. It’s more important to create sexual tension.

Check out my guide to creating sexual tension here:

Not taking care of the basics

This includes:

• Letting your body go

• Not paying attention to wearing clothes that fit properly

• Having poor posture

• Not being assertive and “manly” enough

I don’t care how good your game is….If you look like this you’re fucked.

I recommend sorting out your body and health with regular exercise and the gym. This can make a massive difference in how you look and act (to a certain extent).

Exercise and in particular gym work is key in building self esteem – one of the essential building blocks to becoming a naturally attractive man.

You don’t need to look like a bodybuilder (in fact this can be counter productive) but if you don’t have any ‘physical presence’ then you are starting off from a low point and everything that follows is an uphill struggle.

When you first meet people, they will make a quick first impression of you within seconds (we all do it).

Being perceived as a loser, a geek, or boring from the first second will make everything that follows much more difficult.

On a basic level that means getting contact lenses if you need glasses (unless they fit the particular image you’re trying to project), getting in shape, wearing clothes that fit properly, taking care of your hygiene, dealing with your hair, skin etc.

If you don’t have these things sorted, then you are pretty much wasting your time. If you really don’t know what you’re doing when it comes to stuff like this, it may well be worth paying a professional.

At a more advanced level you should be looking to maximise your image by finding what suits you best and what you like to wear.

Personally I like fitted T Shirts and jeans. Suits and shirts just do not work for me because of my body shape but also because of the image I like to portray.

steve jabba

The key aspect is finding what works for you, and what you like. Don’t try to follow trends because they change all the time and you want your clothes to be part of broadcasting to the world who you are.

In terms of posture: ask your friends or people you meet to give you feedback. Do you stoop, or slouch? Is your spine straight? Ask if you have “presence”

Improving your posture is a big subject and takes time – but if the feedback you are getting from your friends, and your experience in the dating world is consistently bad, then it’s likely that your posture is doing you no favours at all.

You can start by taking practical steps : join a Yoga Class and search around for a posture class in your area (the Alexander Technique is good). If this is an issue, use google and find home exercises.

poor posture

What I do is check myself at various points throughout the day. If I’m slouching, I make a deliberate effort to sit up straight. If I’m standing with my shoulders stooped, I deliberately raise them back and keep my spine erect.

Finally, if you work in a sedentary environment, make sure that you are not hunched over your keyboard.

Get a monitor and make sure it is at eye level and sit up straight. Over time it makes a big difference in your posture.

Not Being Assertive Enough

Here are some simple exercises to begin:

an assertive man

• Count how many times you say “sorry” in a day. And try to stop saying it!

• Walk down the street and hold your line. Don’t move and wait for other people to move out of your way

• When you walk, hold your head high and your gaze looking forward. When you see women, hold eye contact with them and DON’T LOOK AWAY (You will be surprised how difficult this can be!)

• When you go to a busy or crowded bar, again hold your position and space and don’t let other men push you around. Don’t be aggressive or an arsehole about it, but just hold your ground.

• When you are in an environment like this, if you need to move somewhere else, make your way through the crowd firmly, smoothly and without apologising. Don’t let people stop you from going where you want to go.

Having poor or disempowering beliefs

This one is so common. Your beliefs form your identity, which transmits itself through everything you do, say, the way you stand, your facial expressions, posture, body language.

It is almost impossible to hide your real self, and a waste of time to try. Your beliefs about yourself make up your identity. They also form the core of your self esteem.

powerful beliefs

They basically dictate how you feel about yourself on a moment by moment basis (and therefore what you project out to the world).

Challenging negative (and probably untrue!) beliefs about yourself and replacing them with new and empowering ones is probably the most important thing you can do to get laid.

Here are some empowering beliefs:

I am a good guy and I like myself.

I am intrinsically worthwhile enough to attract the kind of woman I want

How do you go about replacing your old negative beliefs and replacing them with empowering new ones?

1:/ Get reference experience to support your new empowering beliefs.

If you are regularly approaching women, you are probably already gathering evidence – reference experiences – that support these beliefs. Every time you have a success, remember it and use it as evidence to support what you want to believe. For negative experiences, be accurate and use it as feedback.

2:/ Just open your eyes and stop making incorrect assumptions!

If you see an average looking guy with a hot girl, don’t just assume “money”.

There are average guys with hot, lovely women everywhere who probably have no money at all! Instead of getting insecure or upset about it, use this as further evidence that you can do it too!

3:/ As well as getting the feedback from approaching and meeting more women, seek out others who are closer to where you want to be.

Mentors, effectively. Spend time with them. Be humble and honest about what you are trying to do. You’ll find that if you adopt this approach they may be willing to help. Don’t bombard them with questions.

What you are trying to do is pick up on their core beliefs almost by osmosis. Just by spending time and hanging out with them, you will begin to do this.

Good luck!