Firstly, what you say when you initially approach a girl is not that important. If I were to put it into % terms, it would be about 10%. It’s NOT the really the content of what you are saying that get’s her pussy wet. The implication of this is that you cannot get into her knickers with special lines / and or routines.
*I would note here that it IS important if you say something grossly offensive. That will of course get you blown out.*
If you have something that you say habitually, that you know generates a good response then that is all well and good. But have you ever noticed that you can say a joke and it falls flat at different times – even though you’re saying the same content?
Ever noticed how you can have an “on” night, and then, for no explicable reason, it all goes to shit on another night?
These factors are related.
Why “How To Talk To Women” Is the Wrong Question
It’s not so much what you are doing…It’s what you are subcommunicating when you are doing it and the level of congruence you have. This relates to how “rooted” and strong your core identity is, how you are feeling in that moment (your state), whether you posses universally attractive masculine characteristics (cornerstone characteristics), and how she reacts to you, etc*
*(This is the crux of “game” and I go into it in great depth in Primal Seduction)*
A guy with a strong identity, who has these attractive masculine characteristics down (and no, I don’t just mean looks) can say pretty much anything. Conversely, if you DON’T have these things going for you, you can spout Shakespeare and John Keats, carve wondrous rainbows of poetry, and you’ll still be treated like shit. She’ll go off and fu*k the masculine guy who knows what he’s doing.
Fortunately for you, the stuff that DOES work – that makes a man attractive to women at a core level – can be learned, to a great extent. When you make a cold approach, the girl makes an assessment of you pretty quickly based on her instinctive filtration mechanisms. It’s pretty hard to turn that around if you’re being placed in the “NO” camp. So you have to do as much background work as possible on improving yourself and acquiring the masculine characteristics, to put yourself in the YES camp.
Aside from that though, there are specific things you can do to improve your chances.
Instead of focussing on HOW to talk to women, instead focus on HOW TO BE.
If you focus on what you’re gonna say – overthink it – and try to plan your approach, you will bomb pretty much every time. Doing the above puts you inside your head, in logic mode, which is anathema to the carefree, free flowing, spontaneous state that you want to access when you’re talking to girls. This state is otherwise known as vibing.
You’re better off focussing your attention on her. Your best possible state as you are approaching her is to be thinking about absolutely nothing…EXCEPT looking at her ass and legs and boobs or whatever, and trying to get turned on. Let your sexual state flow through you. When you approach in this way, you’ll find that the whole experience comes across as more authentic and natural, sexy, attractive and real to her.
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The Pre Approach Routine
Now this can seem terrifying to a lot of guys so here are some pointers. (For more on this with video, please see my pre approach routine)
1:/ Put your focus on her, look at her and after you say your opener, try to deliver a sincere, direct compliment that is SPECIFIC to her. The specificity and spontaneity is what gives it it’s power, you see? I could write 1000 words on this, but think of it this way:
The content of the compliment is not that relevant. It’s what you’re subcommunicating when you’re delivering it.
Ideally what you SHOULD be subcommunicating is:
1:/ I am sexually attracted to you.
2:/ I am a man, so I am pursuing you. I would like to fuck you.
3:/ I am not ashamed or afraid to admit this. Infact, I am making it clear and am not trying to hide it.
4:/ If it doesn’t work out, if my interest is not reciprocated, I will respectfully walk away and leave you alone. I am coming from a position of utmost respect and love for women. But by god I’d love to fuck you.
5:/ I am carefree, and happy in my skin. If you reject me, it’s no big deal to me. I still like myself. AND BY GOD I WANT TO FUCK YOU.
All of this is transmitted out of you very quickly and she makes a snap judgement. (NB this applies to all environments – daytime – night time, bars, clubs etc). Sure there are situations where a girl can get to know you over time, and maybe give you some leeway but that’s not what we’re discussing here. But look, even then, women are attracted to these core masculine characteristics, PERIOD. So it makes sense to try and acquire them.
To close off this article, having said all of that, you still need to have competency on your approach. That is what pickup teaches – why there is a focus on mass approaching. It’s largely ineffective WITHOUT the other stuff I have referenced here and talked through in great detail in my video product The Secret Society. But here are some things you can do now, today to build up this competency. If you do this, most of you will start getting more girls. Also, what you’ll often find is, if you just start doing, you’ll naturally begin to find your own path.
Things you can do straight away:
1:/ Have a default few things that you are ready to say..Doesn’t have to be mega exciting, just enough to get your gums flapping (for my American readers, it means get you talking!)
2:/ Remember to focus on delivering the sincere specific compliment and showing your interest.
3:/ Also remember that the first 30 seconds are always the most difficult. Think to yourself that your objective is to get past the first 30 seconds.
4:/ If she likes you on any level – she will make it pretty easy for you. You never know if she will like you until you try. I kid you not, I have been SHOCKED at some of the girls that gave me a really great response and made it easy for me off the opener. Even if they are fast walking, or look moody, or are impossibly good looking..You can’t predict with accuracy who is going to dig you without enormous experience, and even then it can be faulty..So get cracking!
The conclusion is “How To Talk To Women” is really the wrong question, and you need to work on stuff in the background. When you do your approaches, shift the emphasis from content to vibe, sexual state and authenticity – and you’ll notice your results improving.