How To Stop Being A Nice Guy
If you consider yourself to be a nice guy, you probably wonder why women are not as attracted to you as they ought to be.
Women always seem to flock to other guys!
Being a nice guy can be a death knell to your sex life…If you don’t understand how women work. “Such a nice guy” girls will say….Before going to bed with other douche bag guys.
Well the reason is, because women respond to gut level, raw attraction.
If you want more success in your dating life, you need to stop being such a nice guy…And start actually attracting women instead.
How To Stop Being A Nice Guy Without Being A Jerk (5 Steps)
1: Don’t allow yourself to be put in the friendzone
This is a big one. If you want to know how to stop being so nice you need to understand this.
There’s nothing worse for a man’s self esteem than being put in the friendzone with a woman he’s attracted to.
This happens to nice guys a lot.
If a girl tries this on you, try telling her firmly what you actually want.
Say : “I’m not interested in being your friend.”
As simple as that.
If you are interested in a girl romantically and she does try to friendzone you, then you need to be prepared to walk away.
If you’re thinking : but I will lose female friends by doing this…Then you need to think about what you want.
Do you actually want women to be attracted to you? To go to bed with you?
Or do you want lots of female friends?
If you’re a nice guy who doesn’t have much success with women, then you need to try something different.
Being friends with women hardly ever develops into sex and romantic relationships.
If you’re thinking you can hang around and get with her later, but be friends with her first, STOP.
It won’t work.
Which leads to number 2
2: Be direct and plain speaking with women and don’t hide your true intentions
It’s very simple : you just tell a girl upfront what you want.
Or at least, you make it very clear in your interaction with her.
Let’s take an example. Let’s say you approach a girl and are trying to get her number.
If it seems to you that the interaction is “friendly”, and that there is no sexual tension at all.
Then make it clear to her. Say something like:
“Hey, you know I am interested in your as a man, right? I’m not looking to be your friend”
“I want to date you.”
You don’t have to immediately describe in lurid detail all manners of filth that you want to do to her. That comes later.
It’s just about being direct, assertive and clear about what you want.
There should never be any doubt in a girls mind when you talk to her what you want from her.
Start doing this from now on and see how your interactions change.
3: Start giving women sincere , specific compliments about what you like about them
This one might be counter intuitive.
You might have read articles about how nice guys always compliment women, and how this is terrible advice.
If you have read that, it’s wrong. (It was probably rehashed advice from an internet search by a staff writer who hasn’t spent decades thinking about dating and attraction and actually approaching women in real life!)
What matters when you compliment women is where the compliment comes from psychologically, and how you deliver it
Let’s take an example:
You approach a woman that you like the look of. As you approach and clap eyes on her, drink in what you like about her physically.
There must be something, otherwise you would not have approached her.
After you’ve delivered your opening line – tell her specifically what you like.
It might be her eyes. Her amazing body. Her hair.
When you tell her, say it right from your core and mean it. Just say what pops into your mind.
You don’t have to say this immediately. If you’re new to approaching women, you’ll probably be nervous for the first 30 seconds – 1 minute.
But feeling a stir of attraction to a woman is a natural thing. You will automatically notice something specific about her you like, once the nerves are settled.
So tell her what it is, in an unflinching, direct way.
When you do this, it’s a powerful way of directly signalling your intentions, as I mentioned in the previous tip.
When you do this, you’re expressing a healthy, masculine desire towards a woman.
It will resonate with her if you deliver it with conviction and mean it when you say it.
After you’ve delivered the compliment, you can then move on to saying something like:
“So look, I’d like to go out with you. Take you out on a date. What do you say?”
The words don’t really matter. What matters here is being direct, straightforward from a position of strength.
If she is not interested, then just move on.
Don’t waste your time on girls that are not interested.
4: Don’t Be An Emotional Tampon For A Girl
Another thing that “nice guys” do is to think they can logically persuade a woman to like them.
This is literally the worst thing you can do.
Remember : attraction first.
Women are not hardwired the same as men.
If you do any of these things to persuade a woman you’re attracted to like you, just stop:
Always being there for them.
Listening to all their problems.
Buying them occasional gifts when they’re sad.
Generally being an emotional tampon.
Just stop that immediately.
5: Be More Assertive And Develop Standards And Boundaries
Nice guys generally don’t have strong standards and boundaries.
What this means is, they don’t have a clear idea in their head of what behaviour they will or won’t accept from people generally, and women specifically.
If you’re like this, you need to start enforcing these standards and boundaries.
Here’s a couple of simple things you can do IMMEDIATELY to start becoming more assertive and building your standards and boundaries.
(i) Start to tell people what you want, and what you won’t accept.
For example, if you’re in a bar or restaurant and the service is lousy, don’t just accept it. Tell them.
If you have to deal with customer service for anything you pay for, have a clear idea of what you want to get out of it..And assert that the next time you have to deal with them.
This doesn’t men you have to be bombastic or rude. Just polite and firm and steely, to get what you want.
If for any reason you feel short changed throughout your daily life, just don’t accept it. Do whatever you need to do to stop it continuing.
Having standards and boundaries will grow naturally as you become more assertive. So start practicing this in your everyday life. Do not let others dissuade you from this.
When you start acting differently around people you know. Don’t let this stop you.
If they don’t like the new assertive you, then at some point you need to consider whether you still want them in your life.
From Nice Guy To Attractive Guy
If you follow these 5 tips, you should start to notice a difference in your relations with women.
It takes time to build this confidence – but you have to start somewhere.
Being a nice guy by hiding your intentions and trying to persuade a woman will never work.
Start doing this instead and watch your results change.