When you go on a first date, you should have a game plan in mind. Use this first date guide as a system for taking women to bed on the first date (or maximum on second date), because generally speaking it is much more likely you will develop a relationship if you get physical earlier on.
If you make the mistake of falling into the traditional, old fashioned dating frame you will be forever going out on dates where you are put in the position of waiting for her to decide when itâs time to âgive up the goods.â
Now there is a caveat here. If the girl in question is very special to you and withholds because she wants something longer term with you, and you also want that, then give her space and time and respect that.
Respect should always be your watchword. But this First Date Guide applies to girls who are attracted to you and will sleep with you quickly on the first date, if you exhibit the right behaviours and characteristics.
Take Charge On The Date
Women prefer to be led â establish this as early as possible on the first date. If you do not take the lead someone has to so by default she will. (It is difficult to prove this but I am sure that this is one of the major complaints of women in todays fem-centric society). You probably wonât hear them complain they are not being led on the first date, but it will be voiced in some other way (or not verbalised at all, just displayed in her behaviour towards you.)
Remember, donât listen too much to what they are saying, look at what they are doing. If you end up letting her lead on the first date, at the same time as losing your own value, you make it increasingly unlikely that she will be excited enough by you to view you as a potential lover. Sex between men and women is the way in which we show that we like each other, it is the most natural thing in the world and is something that is shared, NOT where you want something from her.
You need to manage the situation to avoid falling into the trap of making her take charge, and slotting you neatly into a position where she is leading and placing YOU into the âwithhold sexâ category. So, straight away, on the first date you need to get physical early on. After sex you can then consider the relationship on a more equal footing.
If you can develop a consistent system, you can be pretty sure that she will be yours when she meets you for the first date. All you need to do is get solid numbers, meet her and follow the advice here and you are well on your way to becoming seriously effective with women.
The following is a general first date framework to work within. You need to adapt within this framework in order to get consistent success.
Choose A Good Location For The First Date
On the first date, try to make sure you meet her in a location that is relatively close to your house. You can then be relaxed that you have an easier time of taking her home later. The further away from your house you are, the more hassle it is to get her back, especially if it involves long periods of standing around waiting for buses or taxis etc. Guess what she will be thinking about whilst you are in the cold, in these queues?
You need to be effective at managing a womanâs state, not just on the first date either. You can view a girl as a shifting cloud of emotion, fluctuating and changing like the weather. Contained within this cloud there is a needle with 0 (wonât go to bed with him) and 1 (will go to bed with him).
Itâs your job to keep that needle over at 1 as much as possible, or get effective and have the ability to YANK it over to 1 when the time is right. So, stack the odds in your favour on the first date and meet her somewhere close to your house so that it becomes a natural thing to return to yours after a great night out without long awkward waits for buses or taxis where her state may drop.
You can actually see this happening with experience as she starts to consider what she is doing and makes all sorts of logical rationalizations and panics that she is doing the wrong thing. (Iâm not that kind of girl, on the first date, etc)
I really hope you are not dating girls like this
Assume She Is Already Your Girlfriend
Women like to be lead and they like a man with a strong identity. It follows that if you act in a certain way (on the first date and thereafter) they will fall in line with your behaviour and be more comfortable with it.
So, when you meet the girl for the first date, immediately establish the vibe that she is already your girlfriend. If you were in a healthy relationship, how would you greet your girlfriend?
With familiarity and rapport. Smile and be confident. Touch her straight away â e.g. give her a little hug. Kiss her, on the lips. If she turns her head, donât worry about it. If youâre feeling cocky, smack her on the bum (be careful doing this with Eastern European girls!)
Like this. Plus heâs an ace racing driver!
Acting this way on the first date is great because you immediately make her feel comfortable. It may seem a little weird at first but think back to any first dates you have had where you went out, made awkward conversation, chatted about nonsense subjects, didnât know what to do, whether to kiss her etc. Did it seem natural to you? Or was it awkward? If it was awkward, why? BECAUSE IT IS UNNATURAL!
Conversely think of a first date where it all went well. How different was it? Why was the dynamic different? If you follow the guidelines here, you can REPRODUCE these kind of magical first date successes with amazing consistency, the kind where both parties will say âwe both just clickedâ.
When a girl meets you for a first date, you must assume she likes you. She would not be there otherwise (most girls have a hectic social calendar, especially in the larger cities). SHE WANTS TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE!! So, take the lead. You like her too, so SHOW IT, straight away. When you see her do you think she looks sexy? Tell her! Kiss her if you want to, donât wait. THE LONGER YOU LEAVE IT THE HARDER IT GETS! Get it done on the first date.
Other first date little tips :
- Try and go somewhere quite intimate.
- Avoid bright lights and loud noisy places.
- Avoid places where the clientele are liable to be very good looking!
- Avoid places where the bar staff may be snobby or make you wait a long time for a drink.
Do Not Try To âImpress Herâ On The Dateâ
If there is one single piece of the puzzle that is absolutely KEY, it is this. Never try to âimpressâ a woman.
This needs clarification : by trying to impress I mean:
Doing something out of the ordinary with the express purpose of making her like you, or be impressed enough by you, to consider sleeping with you or offering any kind of sexual favours.
e.g. Taking her to an exceptionally expensive restaurant, paying for everything, to show her how much money you have and how you can look after her, etc
As a tactic to get women on the first date, it may actually work, in a limited way. You may get laid by certain types of women by doing it (usually gold diggers)
As a means of keeping your self respect, and getting women who like you for YOU, it stinks.
You can find out very simply if you are trying to impress by listening to that voice inside that we all have. Ask: am I doing this action in order to make her like me?
Sheâs finding it all very boringâŚ
There is a fine distinction to make here: of course you will be as witty and charming as you can be, and you will show her a good time and expect her to reciprocate in kind. But you must NOT try and bamboozle her and show off, or do anything in a way that is unlike your usual self in order to fit in with what you think she wants.
This does not mean of course that you do not want to make a girl happy, of course you do. But in the early stages of a relationship, on the first date, if you want the relationship to be based on a solid foundation and know that she likes you just for WHO YOU ARE, the first date should be about finding out about each other. The location, what you are doing etc, is almost irrelevant (though of course some venues are more suited to seductions than others.)
If the first date dynamic is set up that you are acting in such a way to try and win her favour instead of finding out who you are as people, then you are on the wrong track.
Have A Plan And Lead On The Date
Have a rough plan in mind and moving smoothly towards your end goal. The plan might be something like this :
8pm : Meet a x place. Go to local bar
9:30 : Leave bar to a more intimate bar
10:30 : Walk near to house and ask what wine she likes, get wine
11:00 : Be in house with her, make love
It can happen much more quickly or slowly than this, of course, and you may wish to vary your first dates.
So, what does it mean to lead the interaction?
Should look something like this
You have your plan in your mind, you know what you are going to do. You meet her and greet her as a girlfriend. In a dominant but fun way you lead her towards the first venue.
Your whole being and persona should be about LEADING. You should lead her throughout the date. You can ask her opinion on things but in a gentlemanly but firm way, YOU decide what will happen on the first date. Instead of asking where she wants to go, calmly and confidently (and with humour) say things like
âWeâre off to this amazing bar xxxx. The barmen look like Tom Cruise and eat fire while they serve youââŚ
When you arrive say things like âLooks like Tomâs got a night off, never mindâŚâ etc, etc.
There is a difference between leading and pushing. Leading is where you exert your masculine power and take her where she already wants to go (but wonât admit it since she wants YOU to take the lead and show her these qualities). Pushing is where you are trying to force her unwillingly. Always bear in mind that she is interested in you, it shouldnât even be a question that she is not going to enjoy what you have planned.
So you are in the venue and you must lead. You must escalate and get the vibe sexual but not TOO sexual for fear of pushing her too far.
Avoid talking too much. You want to get to know her on the first date and get her to know you but the sexual tension is the first and most important aspect to establish. After you have established this vibe where you are comfortable touching each other in an intimate way (but not too intimate!) you can get to know each other better but the sexual tension has be there to begin with.
Donât worry About Social Conventions
There is a lot of PUA literature which states that you should always have a CHEAP first date in mind. The underlying point is correct but it is easily open to misinterpretation. You should read from this that you shouldnât set up the dynamic that you are there to IMPRESS her by buying her things, as a way of currying favour and trying to get sex.
You should instead be thinking along the lines of: this first date is a chance to get to know each other, to see how we get along, I already know she likes me, letâs find out if sheâs a cool girl. Sex is not something to worry about, it will happen if the vibe is right.
Whilst you shouldnât stress about getting sex, you also shouldnât stress about social norms â whether to buy drinks etc. Just imagine she is your friend. If itâs natural to buy her drinks then do so but DO NOT let her take advantage of you and DO NOT buy her drinks in the hopes of winning favours i.e. sex.
If sheâs a student and youâre rich then it may seem fairer to you to buy lots more drinks. Your main focus should be : does she appear to be INVESTING in the time together. Donât be concerned with whoever is spending the money on the first date (infact this generally applies at any time)
What should we talk about on the first date?
As a general principle, you should actually avoid talking TOO much on a first date. This may sound bizarre at first but consider how men and women relate. Think back to all the times you have talked to women. How was the dynamic different after you had gone to bed together? Did you find that just before sex (when you both knew it was going to happen) and after sex, you talked about different things than you did before? Did you feel that in some way, the masks were put aside and now you were relating on a REAL level?
Having said this though, there are certain topics of conversation are better suited to women within the most common target age range (19-25) than othersâŚ.Here are some examples to talk though on your first date:
Good Topics Of Conversation For First Date:
- Travel
- Relationships
- Pets
- Live events such as concert or theatre
- Books
- Fitness, especially running.
Subjects To Avoid On First Date
- Politics
- Religion
- Long conversations about careers
Boring! She wants to be attracted
The reason is that it is too easy to get trapped in the dynamic of talking incessantly about something on the first date that just squeezes the life out of any sexual tension between the two of you.
Also, talking about these subjects can lead to differences in viewpoints that should best be left until AFTER you are loversâŚYou do not want to start arguing with her about left / right wing topics or whether god exists on a first date.
General principles of good conversations with women on a first date:
⢠Fun.
⢠Lighthearted.
⢠Open to sexual misinterpretation.
⢠Easy to transition onto FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
⢠Avoid logical debates
Establish Sexual Tension On The Date
Hereâs a great example of me showing the power of sexual tension from a pure cold approach. Take these principles and use them on your first date:
It is ridiculously easy to establish sexual tension on a first date and get the vibe sexual. You will be presented with countless opportunities. Here are some examples of how you could get things physical at any point :
Iâd tap her right now!
You : So you like going to the gym eh?
girl : Of course, I go 3 * a week
You : Hmm. But your arms are kinda chicken like (feel them), make a chicken noise.
Nice thighs tho (grab her thigh and move hand up and down it)
Another little trick is to text her as she gets up to go to the toilet : send something like âI like your bum, {insert name}ââŚ
Virtually guaranteed to get her laughing and get the vibe right.
As a general rule of thumb, you should establish a strong sexual vibe but not go too far in the venue. The degree to which girls differ on their views on public displays of affection vary enormously : itâs best to play it safe on the first date and get kissing with her but then withdraw if things start to get too heavy (i.e genital contact).
Say something like âNot in here, its too soon..
Form A Close Connection
When sexual tension is established (and you should keep alive by periodically spiking her attraction spikes), you need to get a connection with the girl.
Watch What She Is Doing â Not What She Is Saying
This general principle is key throughout a first date. Women will throw up all sorts of roadblocks to test you out in the interactionâŚIt is your job to navigate past them and be able to respond accordingly.
Try and apply the principle of (i) A strong frame and watching what she is doing, not what she is saying.
For example, as you leave the venue, assume she is coming back with you. Start to steer the path back to your place..Ask her what kind of wine she likes, red or white. Go to the nearest off licence and pick up a bottle and make sure you consult her with it. You will doubtless be tested as you walk home, things like :
Girl: Weâre not going to have sex tonightâŚ
Now, you can choose to answer this logically and try and get into a debate about why you should have sex. If you do so, it is virtually guaranteed you will have a date with your right hand for the rest of the night.
Instead, deal with the objection. Use frame control techniques. Use humour, active or passive frame control but DO NOT ENGAGE her on this topic.
Watch what she is doing. Is she compliant with you? Keep her laughing and in a good state. Get romantic when you get to the door. Do you like her? Then show it! Act silly, lift her off her feet, carry her over the door etc and joke about how heavy she is (unless she is fat of course!). Change her state by DOING IN THAT MOMENT, not by logical persuasion.
At all times, keep your eyes on what she is DOING, NOT what she is saying. As long as she is not SCREAMING at you and clearly showing that she does NOT want to come back with you, you can deal with this as a token objection that most women will say to rationalize âit wasnât my faultââŚ
What I have outlined above is just a mechanism for dealing with token objections that mean nothing.
AT NO POINT SHOULD YOU EVER TRY TO FORCE A WOMAN TO DO WHAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DO. IF SHE IS PHYSICALLY OR STRONGLY OBJECTING TO ANYTHING YOU SAY OR DO, STOP IMMEDIATELY AND BACK OFF. Remember, respect is the watchword here. Cannot emphasise this enough.
So there is my first date guide! If you follow these principles your experience will skyrocket and your results will go off the charts. First dates (infact dates in general) are when you really learn about handling women and what makes them tick, so learn and enjoy!