Daygame can be a fantastic way to meet women and get laid â so in this article, Iâm going to walk you through all you need to know to start your first daygame approaches and actually begin to get laid.
Letâs start with the first thing that guys struggle with: getting over approach anxiety.
đ¨Handling approach anxiety in your daygame session
Hereâs the truth: at some point you basically have to grab your balls, hold your nose and dive in feet first.
You have to mentally say to yourself: the hell with it, and just do it.
There are a million words written on approach anxiety, and yet still the vast majority of guys donât approach.
At some point you have to bite the bullet.
Here are some facts about approach anxiety:
1: It gets progressively easier after your first approach. The first approach you ever do is by far the worst.
2: There is no better way of getting to grips with approach anxiety than by approaching. Nothing ever prepares you for the feeling of actually doing it.
Itâs like being involved in a street fight. You can watch as many Youtube videos about it as you want. You might even go to a dojo and do real world simulations of fighting.
It still doesnât come close to the adrenaline dump you get from being involved in a real street fight.
Adrenaline Dump, yesterday
Itâs exactly the same with approaching women. I can always tell a keyboard jockey instantly, by what they write about approaching women. They donât know the actual feeling that occurs within your body when you do it for real.
3: Approach anxiety DOES get easier and more manageable with experience. If your first approach is a 100 on the approach anxiety scale, your 100th approach will be between 20-30.
đDevelop A Daygame Route
Aside from opening correctly with social intelligence, you should aim to find your own Daygame route, away from the spam approach monkeys who foul up the streets, especially in summer. Furthermore, most guys who approach women in the daytime or early evening tend to follow the same old high-footfall streets time and again. This is OK for a while but there are some obvious disadvantages:
1: It gets boring quickly. You need to frequently visit other locations.
2: The highest footfall areas tend to be where youâll encounter sleazy sex tourists, prostitution, and immigrants who you might not want to see. This is certainly true of cities like Prague and Kiev. This is vibe-destroying after an hour or two of prolonged exposure. For a full guide on how to get laid in Prague, check out my related guide.
3. Certain streets tend to attract certain types of girls. If you take Kiev as an example, the main street (Kreschatyk) does tend to bring out the sex tourist guys and a certain proportion of girls who are looking for this (as a way of making money). Avoid these streets and you avoid the problem.
For example, here is an excerpt of a conversation with a girl I met in Kiev who talks about who you will find in the centre of the city , and especially in the nightclubs. I am aware this is only 1 girl, but Iâve noticed the phenomena myself, as have other guys who have spent time in Kiev (and Prague), and some other popular Eastern European destinations.
Daygame Streets And Sex Toursim
[17:17, 4/2/2019] Anastasia Kiev: of course noooâŚ
[17:17, 4/2/2019] Anastasia Kiev: but too much
[17:18, 4/2/2019] Anastasia Kiev: but in night club in center almost excort
[17:18, 4/2/2019] Anastasia Kiev: center full excort and dangerous peopel⌠or stupid girlsâŚ
Leave those streets to the monkeys and the scumbags. We want to go where itâs more beautiful, more innocent and where we are more likely to meet a quality girl. Some girls (those you actually want to meet) will avoid streets like Kreshchatyk in Kiev like the plague. Thus, we are actively destroying our chances of meeting quality women by frequenting these areas.
Youâll usually find these more desirable areas by investigating streets radiating out from the main thoroughfare streets. Check down the side streets and youâll notice a different kind of person and girl walking around. Also, check out the known areas of scenic beauty which wonât attract sex tourists but will attract young attractive girls who like to walk.
Iâve done this several times and met a much different type of girl than you would meet on the main streets.
âWhat does a good daygame approach look like?
Hereâs an example of me doing a daygame approach. It fits in well with my preferred direct, straight-to-the-point style relying on subcommunications and body language.
I focus heavily on forcing IOIs, empathy and strong body language. You can get the full lowdown on how to approach girls and get laid in my Secret Society video series.
đThe Daygame Route
Now weâre getting somewhere and weâve found our daygame route. Thereâs just a couple more things Iâd like you to focus on when you walk your daygame route.
First, keep your eyes open for people talking in groups. Notice the contrast between the hurry scurry of places like Oxford Street in London. Youâre looking for men talking with other men in parks, playing chess, girls laughing with each other in mini-groups, young men and women sitting and talking with each other. Notice the absence of mobile phones.
When you see this kind of thing, you know you have found people that are still connected to reality. Real people.
This process of actively seeking out off-the-beaten-path areas and looking for real people is what I call seeing the depth in things. Itâs a very different approach and itâs designed to protect your vibe and allow you to meet women sustainably without periodic meltdowns.
For those of you wondering, I am aware of r/k selection. This isnât about deliberately screening out r selected girls, nor targetting k selects. Itâs simply about protecting your vibe and making the process of meeting women more sustainable and less of a chore.
In the same way that we attempted to laser target high probability girls in my video course Secret Society, weâre attempting here to cast a wide net of opportunity to meet girls but do is SUSTAINABLY.
Walking Your Daygame Route: Find Comfort Spots
Within this route, pick out coffee shops where you can stop, rest your feet, take a breath and take a breather for 10-30 minutes.
Another little tip which may be of use : try staying in one place rather than walking endlessly. If you find a particularly good street where you like the footfall, layout and general vibe, itâs not a bad idea to pause for 10-20 minutes every once in a while to break up the flow and keep things fresh.
Unexpectedly good spots to find girls.
There are some gems that no one ever talks about where you can consistently find hot girls to approach. One of them is subways.
Wherever you go in the world, subways are always one of the busiest places for obvious reasons. Youâll often see smartly dressed, intelligent women going about their business.
It takes a certain kind of adjustment to fit into the rhythm of approaching in Subways. Itâs something you can do along with standing in one place / one street for a few hours to break up the rhythm. Itâs much more fast-paced and crowded, so youâll need to be sharp: spot the girls quickly, approach quickly and make a strong impression FAST â they wonât have time to hang around.
Read on to find out moreâŚ.
đEfficient Daygame : Subways And Underground
One of the central problems with Daygame as proposed by the standard Daygame models is the amount of time it takes. The typical daygame models postulate that you will engage in a daygame session, which involves walking the streets (usually on a high volume daygame route) and approach women opportunistically.
The other option is a more hybrid model in which you approach women in your day-to-day life, such as in a coffee shop whilst you do your work, or as you go out for en evening meal, or as you do your shopping.
To my mind there are a number of problems with the Hybrid model:
1: If you opt for the hybrid model where you meet women in your day-to-day life, you will invariably find you are simply not meeting enough women to approach. If we take my work as an example, it is very difficult to do in a coffee shop because you become distracted, and often internet access is not good enough to do the research, search, downloading images etc properly. Overall, your work suffers because you end up neither working nor approaching women.
2: You need to leap into action at a moments notice with no chance of building up momentum or flow. As youâll note from the later sections of this course, I aim to teach you âstatelessâ game where you are not buzzing with state, nor particularly in the moment, nor particularly infused with sexual energy. Nevertheless there are limits and whilst we stack the odds in our favour with the exercises I recommend, it is still much harder to actually approach apropos of nothing, if you are not in the right frame of mind.
3: Overall the hybrid model sounds ideal: make no specific effort to meet women, and instead just approach the ones you see in your day-to-day life. However in practice, in reality, itâs unlikley to work for the vast majority of guys who have to go to a specific location for their work, or who cannot do their work in a coffee shop (for example).
The traditional daygame model of setting aside a few hours to do a daygame session also has problems:
1: Itâs time-consuming. Walking around a daygame route takes time, and Iâve found that if you have high standards, even the best cities in the world with the highest footfall areas sometimes prevent few opportunities.
2: It can lead to burnout because of the amount of time you have to invest walking the daygame route.
3: What do you do in winter?
The best option in my view is to take the best out of both approaches. Hence, static game in high footfall areas.
Static High Footfall Daygame (Tube stations, underground, shopping malls, high end clothing stores)
No matter where you travel in the world, the best place to find where women are congregated in great numbers is always an underground station or , even better, a terminus of underground station with a busy street.
The best times of day to go to these places is in the morning (before people go to work (7-9), during lunch hour (12-2), and after work (5 â 7pm).
Now obviously for the majority of guys these times wonât work because they themselves have to go to work. But even outside of these times, the terminus underground station will still be the best place to go to meet women in great numbers.
Hereâs what you do:
Mindset: As with a normal daygame session, you set yourself a mindframe that you are going here to approach women. If you can make the peak times, give yourself 1 hour to approach 3-5 women.
Outside of peak hours, you will probably need 90-120 minutes instead. Nevertheless, youâd need double that time by pursuing a normal daygame route.
If you donât approach within the first 15 minutes, give yourself 10 more in which you HAVE to approach. If you donât manage it , go home. The reason is you are probably wasting your time on that day and you donât want to go into the spiral of negativity of not approaching, talking yourself out of it, wasting your time and getting frustrated. Far better to cut your losses and come back another day.
The flow of women
The great thing about approaching in underground terminus is that they always have an evergreen supply of new women. The busy streets supply half of the women, the undreground trains arriving and departing every 3 minutes supply the other half.
This has a number of beneficial effects:
1: It adds a degree of pressure which forces you to approach if you see a girl you donât particularly like. You donât have time to talk yourself out of it, because she will be going SOMEWHERE. Underground terminus stations are a midway point to somewhere else, so if you donât act quickly, you wonât get another chance or see her again.
2: Because the flow of women is evergreen, you can warm up and get in the mood by throwaway approaches quickly.
3: If you strike out with a girl, no problem. The flow of women will wash away the sting because 3 minutes later youâll have a fresh set of women to approach.
4: The number of women in close proximity is unparalleled. It solves the biggest issue for most guys who want to meet women: actually FINDING them in the first place.
Approaching the women and Efficiency
Your approach should be pretty simple. Find a suitable spot to perch / park yourself. I prefer sitting on a wall outside the terminus station (if the weather is good), or actually leaning against a wall underground if the weather is not good.
If youâre a guy who gets bored easily like me, you can obviously alternate between the two, but the idea is to remain static and let the women come to you.
When you see a girl you like, approach her and aim for a 2-5 minute conversation. Basic pointers:
1: Tell her you were waiting for a friend and saw her, thought she looked nice/attractive
2: Tell her you are new in town, or recently arrived, and are looking for a girl to date / relatiosnship
3: Go for number or instant date.
For the approach, follow the outlines in this my video series Secret Society. Be honest, say what is on your mind and what you are looking for, and tell her you are interested.
There really is not much more to it than this. Iâve found that in meeting women this way you end up wasting far less time than with other methods, and it gets the job done efficiently.
Check out my book Primal Seduction and video series Secret Society for the best mindset and techniques to use when you go out to meet women. No matter how efficient your method
Doing A Daygame Session
Hereâs what to do when you do a daygame session..And how to make the best of it.
What to do if you are not getting many IOIs?
Iâve described in multiple posts on this website that forcing IOIs is the best way to cut down on the grind of cold approaching.
It will increase your conversion ratio, reduce spam approaches and generally make the whole daygame session (or nightgame) more fun.
However, there are occasions when the girls will NOT make it easy and will not respond to forcing IOIs in sufficient numbers to give you a chance.
When this happens, you have no choice. You have to approach cold.
NOTE: You still have to eke out as much advantage as possible. Read my guide to improving your cold approach success rate for more on this.
Also note that this does not invalidate my advice in the Secret Society. I talk in great detail there on the correct way to approach, and everything I write here is based on this way of approaching.
I personally still approach in exactly the same way on a daygame session whether itâs off a forced IOI or without.
See this example below , filmed in Ukraine:
Attitude For Cold Approaching In A Daygame Session
You have to have a positive attitude and an expectation of success.
Iâve written in painstaking detail about this in Primal Seduction.
You need this because you need to subcommunicate value to the girl when you approach her.
Iâve covered this in both of my products in great depth. Authenticity is part of it, as is a confident approach mixed with sexual tension.
It basically boils down to leveraging your reference experiences, and a cool, level-headed assesment of your value relative to the competition.
To leverage your reference experiences, you need to intelligently select which reference experiences you focus on (i.e. the positive ones), and nix out of memory all the negativity.
Itâs called solipsism, and itâs something that only I have ever talked about.
To assess your competition, take a look around you. Iâm in Kyiv right now, and I have noticed some absolute wrecks with hot girls.
If they can do it, you can do it too. (Stop making excuses like they have a home advantage). You cannot control this, so why focus on it? Focus on only what you can control RIGHT NOW.
If this dude can approach women, there is no reason that you cannot
đControlling your vibe During Daygame
When youâre doing your daygame session, itâs critical you control your vibe. If you donât, youâll end up wussing out and going home.
Hereâs what I do:
Build a daygame route, and find comfort spots.
I like to find coffee shops where I feel comfortable and I can take a break from daygaming. This soothes my vibe and allows me to regenerate.
I spend a couple of days finding my best daygame route, where I can walk around and feel comfortable to approach. Within this route, I pick out coffee shops where I can stop, rest my feet, take a breath and take a breather for 10-30 minutes.
I find this helps me to get in the mood for daygaming again, rather than walking for hours on end scanning for girls to approach.
Taking a break from a daygame session
Dealing with blowouts and ârudeâ behaviour
No one likes blowouts, but they will happen. Especially in countries further to the East of Europe, youâll find that you get more instant blowouts than anywhere else.
The people in general are not like the English or Americans. They feel no need to be polite to you. They can be quite rude and boorish.
The same behaviour that would cause offence and likley fistfights in the UK doesnât even raise an eyebrow in Eastern Europe.
Itâs simply their culture. If you observe how they treat each other in their day to day life, they are quite rude and abrasive.
You only need to look at how they behave on the roads to get a sense of their civic behaviour. Lots of beeping, cutting each other up, etc.
It means nothing. I think Ukranians are lovely people, as are Serbs and Poles â but they are not especially friendly or polite as a default. However when you get to know them, they are some of the warmest, kindest people youâll ever meet.
Much more so than English people (in general)
You have to realise this and not let it get you down. Over time youâll get used to it â but donât view their behaviour and general public face as a personal insult to you.
They tend to walk around with a frowny, grumpy face â but this is not their true character. They just donât feel the need to put on a âpublic faceâ.
This extends to any time or place that you do a daygame session. If you approach in London people are often in a rush and have no desire to talk to you. You cannot take it personally, or let it get you down.
It never goes away completely, but you can manage it.
âFAQâs About Daygame
đŻDaygame Success Rate
Your daygame success rate depends on multiple factors: how good your game is, the quality and attitude of the girl you approach, your own SMV, the prevailing culture of the place where you approach and whether you intelligently filter girls pre-approach. When everything is on song for me, I can expect a Daygame success rate of 1/10 â 1/15 girls. These are girls of 7-10 on the looks range, younger than 29.
A spam-approaching monkey with no social intelligence can approach thousands of women and get nothing of ANY quality. You have to develop social intelligence (especially nowadays) and do it properly.
đŹđ§ London Daygame Model â Is It Worth A Go?
The London Daygame model does give a conceptual framework from which you can understand how to approach a girl on the street, start a conversation and move things forward. However, there are numerous well-documented issues using the model, mostly that it tends to lead to a stilted, samey approach that is difficult to keep going for the long term. Plus a very, very low success rate.