A leitmotif you’ll see on this channel again and again (and especially over the last few months) is that you can solve most problems with discipline, hard work, not giving in to despair and taking productive action.
It’s something I’ve been living, breathing and thinking about a lot over the last 6-9 months. As I’ve mentioned a few times, at this time last year I suffered a very large setback and basically lost everything.
I distinctly recall walking around Wroclaw in Poland, being unable to see properly because I couldn’t afford to pay for contact lenses, after having just called my closest and dearest friend to borrow the money to return to the UK because I could no longer afford to live abroad.
I had a couple of days left of my Airbnb , no means to extend it, and my overdraft was maxed out. I was a mess.
Since then I’ve taken things a lot more seriously and put in a lot of work (though not enough) to turn things around. Right now almost exactly 1 year later and my situation is light years in front of where I was. Incidentally, a huge thankyou to all of you who listen to my Youtube videos, leave positive comments, and have bought my products.
You may be able to tell from the upbeat nature of my videos, my personal situation is much improved and it’s down to you (I’m almost at 10k subscribers too, which bearing in mind I started at 5000 about 8 months ago, and only really started getting traction on Youtube a few months ago, I’m delighted with).
So a heartfelt thankyou.
My new product
To this end, before making this video, I wrote 2800 words on my new product (which will be an audio product, I am sure lots of you will be glad to hear), The section is about self diagnosing what your principal problems are that hold you bacl. I’m not going to give anything away – I know my competitors are listening and some have no scruples at all about ripping other people off without credit , but it’s a novel approach to solving the problems that we face when improving our lives, our relations with women, our self esteem..Especially with what we’re up against in 2019.
Dark Nights Of The Soul
Now it’s all going to get a little bit dark for the next little while. If you’re subscribed to me, you’ve no doubt seen some of my work on Sigma Males. As always I’m going to be as truthful as I can with you all, so I’ve outlined some of the downsides of being a Sigma Male in my video “Sigma Male Downsides”..And talked through how I became a Sigma in my formative years. As a summary, it wasn’t through being the most well liked or popular, I can tell you that.
Despite all the work I have done on self discipline, emotional control and dealing with solitude, I still occasionally have dark nights of the soul. Last night was just such a night.
I lay awake at 4am unable to sleep, my mind racing. For a moment or two I let despair in, thinking about the fact I have no pension and I could well be destitute when I am 65 or older…I began to panic about what life will be like when I get old and I can no longer support myself..It’s not without grounding…But it’s a moment of weakness and it’s a recurring fear I have had for years (alongside being homeless)…Very occasionally, a voice will say ..ah well you could always kill yourself if it comes to it. Yeah, it does get like that from time to time.
This is despite the fact that I’ve had numerous conversations about this with my closest friends. Actually , life without pensions is the norm for most people, and I personally am taking more action than most in addressing it (building AI resistant income, not relying on employers, and with a long term view to homesteading and reducing my requirement for money. And so on).
I finally got to sleep and woke up at 9:30am. Much too late for me, I prefer to be up at 6 or 7. I wandered aimlessly round the shopping mall, got some food…And then sat down and thought deeply about what happened last night.
I diagnosed the root cause, documented it in a spreadsheet, and put together an action plan. This action plan was the basis for the work I did today on diagnosing your problems and fixing them..I cannot go into detail on what it contains, but it’s wholly action focussed, practical and should be able to help as many of you as possible, based on your individual circumstances.
Incidentally last nights dark night of the soul is gone now, and probably won’t return for several months. But I tell you this because I know that I am not the only one who suffers from this occasionally (even amongst other well known dating guys who you have probably heard of , it’s quite common, though typically revolves around women troubles.)
I am not ashamed. It’s part of my philosophy of brutal honesty..And following through with action on what these dark nights of the soul tell you…WITHOUT excessive navel gazing, despair, depression or inaction.
As an aside and for perspective, let’s be honest : my difficulties pale in comparision to some other peoples. Mine are fears that may or may not materialise. Yesterday I saw a young man in a wheelchair. Need I say more?
I view dark nights of the soul as an irritating but necessary part of life for a guy like me, and I am sure some of you have suffered from them too. Well, I can tell you are not alone.
If you’re a natural worrier like me, the point is, there ARE things you can do. From last nights self inflicted insomnia and worry caused by my racing mind, I now have an additional 2800 words of top notch stellar content for my new product that I am confident a lot of you will absolutely love.
It will help a lot of you. I’m now writing out this post which equally will help a lot of you, if for no other reason than letting you know you are not alone.
The next time you have a dark night of the soul, think deeply about what it’s telling you and come out swinging. The more time I spend on this earth, the more I realise that it’s the struggle that defines us as men.
Updated information 16/04/2019
There’s just a couple of points I’d like to make that are tangentially related to the dark nights of the soul theme.
First, I regularly watch the streams of mssrs Owen Benjamin and Vox Day. I get different things from both men, though I greatly respect both of then.
From Owen, I love his rhetoric, his humour, his fighting spirit and the topics he talks about, plus it’s an excellent insight into the life I see in my future : homesteading. On that subject I’m actively pursuing further knowledge because I see this is the life I want to lead in years to come (5-10 year timeframe).
From Vox Day : His incisive intellect, his intellectual confidence and fighting spirit. I know a lot of his confidence comes from being older and having an extraordinarily high IQ, but I also think it’s because of his faith…He has the real King Alpha on his side, does he not? It’s interesting to me to watch him talk about any manner of subjects, and his fighting spirit is an antidote for nights like last night, when I go through dark nights of the soul. I actually recall Owen Bebjamin mentioning in one of his streams that Vox “calms him down”.
I mention these guys because I’d like to make a point about following. Whilst I have nothing but respect for both of these guys, I wouldn’t classify myself as a “follower” of either (or anyone else for that matter). I would never rename myself as a Bear. I listen to them and think they both have interesting things to say…But it doesn’t make me feel insecure that I know that Vox is undoubtedly brighter than I am, or Owen much funnier and also probably brighter than me.
I think some of you probably let other men intimidate you or get you down…You musn’t do this! I remember times when I worked in IT contracting, there was one guy in particular who exploited my lack of technical knowledge and always tried to publically humiliate my in meetings..He was a senior, so it was tough to argue back. He sensed weakness in me (lack of tech knowledge etc). He was basically a bully.
I never bothered to learn to engage in bantering with him, because I literaly have no patience for it. It was a small part of the reason why I wanted to remove myself from the hierarchy. Even amongst close friends, I have no idea how to banter or engage in male pecking order games. I just find it tiresome, low IQ and boring.
So, I put my energy into generating my own income so I wouldn’t have to deal with fools like this in future. I don’t see it as avoidance. I call it reality building. You build the reality that you want to live in – it dictates where you live, the food you eat, your day to day routine, the people you choose to come into contact with, the way you meet girls (it’s no surprise to me that I’ve always met women through solo approaching. There’s a reason for this).
To my mind, it’s superior and more admirable to be able to generate my own income and avoid plonkers like this than have to learn to engage with them on their hime turf. Fuck that). Looking back on it now, he was a classic Gamma. He did actually struggle with women too.
This may not be possible for all or even most of you. If so, if you face similar problems with fools like the one I talked about here, then you’ll need to spend time and energy in learning how to deal with it. The point I’m making is twofold:
1: Learn to diagnose effectively your own problems and then intelligently map solutions to them. Partially you do this by taking your emotions out of the equation, by not giving into despair, and building a step by step plan.
2: Find other people who you can learn from and partake in their knoweldge, but try to avoid the tempatation to be a follower.
Finally I think what I have said here is naturally going to be heavily Sigma biased. Some of you will find it more natural and easy to avoid the follower mentality. But if you have any interest in the way that I approach meeting and attracting women, plus the lifestyle that I’ve constructed, this will give you an insight into the kind of thought processes that are involved.