By Steve Jabba. Find out more about Steve Jabba here
What Is Sexual Tension?
Sexual Tension is a flow of energy between a man and a woman that occurs when physical attraction is present, but intimacy has not been taken place.
In the video below, youâll see how to build sexual tension with a girl you just met. This includes using pauses, getting close to the girl, touching her hair, and giving her strong, dominant eye contact.
Iâd never met this girl and this happened with about 4:30 minutes 30 seconds. The video shows just how powerful sexual tension can be!
For a full guide on how to approach a girl, please check out the linked article. Itâs very thorough and tells you all you need to know.
Sexual Tension In Action!
How To Build Sexual Tension With A Girl
When you approach a girl to have a conversation, always be thinking about sexual tension.
If you have a conversation with a girl which crackles with sexual tension, you are much more likley to get her interested in you.
You have to have a PURPOSE and GOAL for the interaction. And that goal is ultimately sex. You have to start thinking of her as a sexual creature.
As a general guideline, you can aim to transition and start creating sexual tension within the first 30 seconds to 2 minutes, though this is not a hard and fast rule.
reating Sexual Tension With A Woman : Eye Contact And Sexual Energy
Visualising sex with the girl as youâre talking is one way of beginning to infuse your conversations with sexual tension.
This is why I encourage you to look at her, appreciate her, look at her legs and ass and breasts and appreciate her as a feminine creature. Look at her beauty. Do whatever it takes but try to capture that sexual feeling within yourself. Just that.
Donât let anything else intrude â Iâm not good enough, Iâm nervous, Iâm scared. Just the feeling of lust and appreciation. Focus on that feeling.
You can use this throughout the pickup. As youâre talking to her, you should aim to keep eye contact as long as possible but NOT IN A THREATENING WAY! Try and hold her eyes and smile at appropriate points. Donât stare!
You have to be careful NOT to appear sleazy, as there is a world of difference between a sexual man and a sleazy one.
A sexual man has an honest appreciation for beauty and gets pleasure from it, whereas a sleazy guy has a running porno video in his mind and views women as a sex object.
Sleazy guy, visualised
To practice this skill, try to keep holding eye contact in every interaction with a woman. Donât look away, and notice their reactions.
If they appear uncomfortable, keep practicing and try to smile more, in a genuine and sexually interested way.
As you practice this, you can let her in on the fact that you find her attractive and play with fake coyness, women can and WILL pick up on this and it becomes a sort of game, as every comment you make can become pregnant with sexual undertones.
To begin to inculcate this skill, check out my eye contact routine article
Method 2 â Verbal Ju Jistu
The purpose here is to change the tack of whatever she is saying and turn it onto a subject relating to sex, relationships, getting her turned on, her being hot, etc.
For example, here is how I might play talking to a girl on a perfume stand in a high end store: My initial approach would be indirect (itâs more calibrated)
Sticking to the plan / charming persistence
You: Hey â I was thinking of getting some new aftershave. Something masculine, you know? Any ideas?
Her : Well, thereâs this new Givenchy one âŚblah blah blah
You : (Eyeing her up insolently as sheâs talking about Givenchy)
Riight..Givenchy. Not sure itâs masculine enough for me. I mean, are the girls gonna come flocking?
I meanâŚIf your boyfriend was to wear it â would it turn you on?
OrâŚmaybe you donât have a boyfriend?
I could be your boyfriend!
Now, can I just get a quick female opinion on something?
So youâre quickly getting her onto the subject of dating / boyfriends / getting turned on / sex.
Youâre also being cheeky and flirty and play acting as if you didnât have it in your mind before you approached. Itâs almost a silly âinâ joke, that she is probably well aware of, but itâs a fun little charade / escapade to play.
After this, you could go either way â fluff a bit more or go straight for the kill. E.g.
âWell, I didnât expect this. Was just looking at aftershaves but now that you mention itâŚMaybe we could go out sometime. Iâd like to get to know you.â
Easy. Remember the principle is to take whatever she says, no matter how dry, and turn it around onto a personal, sexual footing.
Higher Risk Sexual Tension Techniques
The sexual observation
Her : Yes, I work in accounts, I do corporate accounts for many blue chips to keep them compliant with blah blah blah
YouâŚI seeâŚSorry I must admit I got distracted, do you know youâve got the cutest way of saying âxxxxxâ / do you know you have the cutest lipsâŚYou lost me there for a moment.
Her : Well I seeâŚAnyway as I was saying I do this accounting work blah blah blah
You : Come on admit it youâre cute arneât you?
The principle here is you donât let upâŚ
You just keep barelling on with what you were saying. Why? Women do sometimes put up a little resistance. They donât just fall back with their legs open and knickers down! This technique is actually a subtle form of dominance and show of masculine strength.
The hand grenade
After opener or mid conversation:
Sorry, I couldnât stop staring at your breasts..Gosh..really sorry..Er, what were you saying?
ACT flustered here, deliberately so.
Accuse her of admiring you
Mid conversation, pause, lean back and accuse her of admiring you in a sexual way.
OMGâŚ.PauseâŚâŚDid you just look at my dick / crotch?
What the hell (insert name)
Then carry on with the conversation but perhaps reference it laterâŚ
Yeah sure..Maybe we can go outâŚ..As long as you stop staring at my damn dick!
NOTE: All 3 of the above techniques are pretty âhigh riskâ. You really have to have a good vibe, a DGAF attitude and genuinely not care about the outcome.
Theyâre dynamite when youâre flowing and all is going well, but donât try and inject them immediately into the conversation if youâre out of state.
You also have to have social intelligence about which kind of girls you apply these techniques on â and when.
This is all covered in my Secret Society product. Have a look at the video below, which is an excerpt from my Secret Society Video Product. I talk through the three pillars of cold approaching (social intelligence is one of them)
This Product Is Now On Special Offer. Check It Out Here!
Method 3 â pregnant pauses and sexual innuendo
You can also use pauses and sexual innuendo. Again, these techniques can be applied at any point during the pickup.
Here is an example, this is an actual transcript taken from a 2 minute number close, which lead to me having sex with her on a first date:
You : You look just like the cat that got the creamâŚ(PAUSE, looking at her in smiling way, but with sexual intent)âŚSee any interesting guys in here (INNUENDO)
HB : Not really, itâs a bad night..Except you (attraction gained within 2 seconds)
You : (Ironic smile) â I see..Youâre very forward arenât you? (Get closer). A bit of a naughty girl in fact (Sexual humour). Do you know what happens to naughty girls (Innuendo)
HB : I couldnât guess (fake innocence)
You : (Grabbing her bum). They get their arses smacked, of course. But youâd like that (sexual humour)
You : Where you from??
In the above example we have all of the techniques being used simultaneously, which allowed me to get a solid number close and arrange to meet her for a day 2.
It was necessary to build up some comfort on text in order to solidify a day 2 but using these techniques you can get solid numbers very quickly as very very few guys out there are making this kind of impression so quickly.
Method 4 â Standards And Boundaries
As a general principle, whenever youâre in conversation with a girl, you need to keep 1 principle in mind : know your standards and stick to them. Write them down if you have to! What do you want in a girl? What qualities are an absolute MUST (try to be more specific than 32DD breasts!).
When youâre talking, is she displaying qualities that you donât like? Has she said something that on some level pisses you off? Then SHOW IT!!
This sounds obvious but itâs surprising how many guys will try to hide their distaste in the hopes of getting into a girls knickers. In truth the opposite is true : if you show youâre a man with standards and will call her on shoddy behaviour, then youâre much more likely to gain attraction.
Here is the key : itâs how you show disdain that matters. DONâT get into a prolonged logical debate about her behaviour or what she has said. Use your body and a quick word to convey distaste. Turn away from her a little if she genuinely pisses you off.
Itâs not necessary to tell her off, just say âI seeâ as you backturn, or even âthatâs a little weirdââŚThen fall silent. Youâll find that if sheâs attracted, sheâll claw at you and try to explain her position or apologise. This is a great opportunity to be won over (if you agree with what sheâs saying) and gain control of the situation.
Thereâs a giant section on standards and boundaries in Primal Seduction.
Method 5 â Invasion of personal space.
Traditional social dynamics literature will tell you that respecting another persons personal space is very important to avoid conflict and create rapport.
This is mostly true, however in pickup, flaunting this âruleâ can be extremely effective in creating attraction. The main reasons why this works as a technique are:
(i) You show that you have the sexual confidence to escalate. Most guys are afraid of screwing this up and losing the girl, and women can sense this. If you are different, in that you invade their personal space in a dominant and congruent way, it shows that you are not like most men and have more sexual confidence.
Displays like this send a very clear signal to her that you are the kind of man that can take her to bed and show her a good time, something that is lacking in most men. It shows you are confident and that when you see something you like, you go for it.
(ii) It shows that you are investing in the interaction and are not afraid to put your balls on the line. Again, you are not behaving in a wishy washy way and are clearly telegraphing your interest to the girl in a direct and powerful way.
Ironically, you are less likely to receive a negative reaction if you act in this way than if you pussyfoot around and are scared to screw up or scare her away.
So how do you do it?
Firstly, when talking, use the techniques above. When she shows interest, move straight in. Get closer to her. Touch lightly, start off by putting your hand on her arm. Immediately drop any cocky techniques and get serious with her, by delivering a powerful statement about how you like her..
âIn all seriousness, weâre messing around butâŚI gotta say I like you because of X Y Z quality (pick out a quality thatâs unique to her â DONâT JUST SAY NICE TITS. Try and think of something unique).