How To Ask A Girl For Her Number [Foolproof Guide, Step By Step]

Steve Jabba

By Steve Jabba. Find out more about Steve Jabba here

how to ask a girl for her number

If you want to know how to ask a woman for her number, you’re in the right place! After reading this guide, you will never be nervous again.

There is really no good reason to be afraid about asking for her number. It’s actually very easy to do, if you follow this step by step process.

Here’s what to do:

For a full guide on how to approach a girl, read the linked article – it’s got everything you need to know.

Realise asking for her number is no big deal

If you are inexperienced at approaching women either in real life, or in the virtual world (Tinder / online dating), asking a girl for contact details can seem like a major hurdle.

Whilst it may seem like a daunting task to you, I guarantee she is used to being asked. She will not be shocked!

Girls give out their phone number all the time, like candy. They are used to men approaching them and asking for their number.

So don’t sweat it. She will not be shocked or offended.

Best Way To Ask For Her Number? Don’t try to hide your intentions when you approach her.

When you ask a woman for her phone number, you want her to understand fully that you intend to date her.

Furthermore, she needs to understand that you are interested in her in a sexual way.

Don’t try hiding your intentions.

The reason is that we live in a world where women have ever increasing sexual market value (especially in the West).

Which leads me onto:

Stand Out By Displaying Confidence When You Approach Her

steve jabba confident approach girl

To stand out, you need to display confidence when you talk to her and ask her for her contact details.

The best way to do this is to be direct and upfront.

Here are two things you can do immediately when you approach a girl online or in real life:

Give her a direct, specific compliment

Tell her what you like about her as soon as you approach. In other words, you approached her because you liked this about her specifically.

Tell her you are interested in dating her

Get straight to the point. Talk to her, find out a little bit about her, but you don’t need to spend 20 minutes standing in the street having a conversation.

Just get to the point after you’ve found out some basic details.

The exception to this is if you take her for an instant date there and then.

Ways To Ask For Her Number (Examples)

It’s not great to copy someone else’s specific lines when talking to a girl – what’s more important is your mindset, congruence, body language and self belief.

Here are some examples to get you started:

So listen – I want to go out with you sometime. Are you free this week?

We should go out. When are you free?

Very simple, direct and to the point. It does not need to be fancy at all.

If you try and use clever or overly witty lines to get her number it displays a lack of confidence.

Why? It’s over investment. It shows you’ve spent too long thinking about it.

Just get to the point and damn well ask her!

Frequently Asked Questions About Asking A Girl For Her Number

girl texting on phone

When you ask a girl for her number and she says no

This is not usually a good sign. Usually girls are very averse to confrontation, so if a girl outright says no when you ask for her number then something has gone seriously wrong.

If this happens to you she is unlikely to be playing female games. It’s best to just say no worries, give her a nice compliment like “well, it was lovely talking to you”, and leave.

When you ask a girl for her number and she asks for yours

Contrary to popular belief, this is not always a bad sign. I’ve had situations where I have given her my number and she has actually got in touch.

The best thing to do here is to keep talking – try and make her laugh, and after about 5 minutes ask her again.

Be sincere when you ask again. Try : “So listen..I’m happy to meet you. Let’s go out sometime. I’ll send you a text or two and if you don’t want…No problem. I don’t chase girls anyway”

Keep it low key and don’t get stressed about it.

If you ask a girl for her number and she says why?

This is a mini shit test. She wants to see how you react.

Being honest and direct is the best response. As I said at the beginning – there is no point in hiding your intentions.

Just state outright: well, I like the look of you. I would like to go out with you…We can’t now so I want to stay in touch with you.

It’s either that or smoke signals!

How long before you ask a girl for her number?

Not long at all. As I said at the beginning, getting a girls phone number is really not a big deal. Girls are used to handing out their contact details.

You can get a girls number within 1-2 minutes and it’s enough to see her again. About 3-5 minutes is a normal amount of time to expect to get her number.

What If She Won’t Give You Her Number?

If she tries to fob you off with Facebook, say something like:

“Come on, Facebook..I don’t use it anyway. Plus I don’t want you nosing round my photos.
I’m not a stalker you know. One or two texts to see if you want to meet, then I won’t ask again..”

You have to tread a fine line here. Obviously you cannot get aggressive or angry because it really isn’t a big deal.

But equally you don’t want to mess around on Facebook at this stage.

You could also try a humourous approach:

OK, how about you give me your 2nd girl phone number. The red one, which means “not sure about him yet”.

Pro tip: The 2nd girl phone is a real thing, I promise you. Especially in Eastern Europe.

If she’s objecting about giving you her number, you have to make a judgement call.

Move on if it appears she is genuinely not interested.

If there appears to be a real reason, or she is just cautious , try and take her for a coffee for 10 minutes to get to know her a bit more.

I would not recommend standing in the street talking.

The reason is that I like to create intrigue and sexual tension, but you cannot have non stop sexual tension.

It’s too much. You need to play and finesse the sexual energy. Standing on the street is not the right place to do this.

(You’ll need to watch my Secret Society video product to learn how to do this)

So, aim to take her for a coffee if you’re really interested and she won’t give out her number after 3-5 minutes.

What To Do After You Get Her Phone Number?

A common mistake that guys make after getting a girls number is to immediately walk off or end the conversation.

This is a mistake!

Here’s why:

It looks a little mercenary.

Whilst you should be direct and clear about why you are approaching her (ultimatley you want to have sex with her), you also have to show a little human warmth.

A good way to do this is to future project – tell her where you’d like to go with her. Be creative and paint a picture!

Pro tip: Don’t ask her what she likes. Best to say something like:

So I have an idea where we can go. You seem like [insert a mini cold read] kind of girl.

Try to get a feel for what kind of girl she is as you are talking to her. This comes with practice and building social intelligence.

Clues to look for :

What she is wearing.
Her job.
How poised and confident she is.
Whether she seems nervous at your direct approach.

Lots of ways of reading the girl as you can see.

Build all of this into your sign off and tell her you have somewhere in mind. You can either reveal what that is, or leave it hanging – both are good!

Pro tip: Do a little research of good date locations to take a girl so you have places in mind.

After You’ve Got Her Number

A good rule of thumb is to follow up with a text / whatsapp within a few hours of meeting her.

This is especially true when you meet a girl from a daytime approach.

Try to use a little humour in your 1st message to her.

Try and recall something specfic about the conversation, or give her a funny name that relates to something you said to her.

Here’s a totally made up example:

“Hello Bambi eyes! Was great to meet you earlier. How about we meet Wednesday?”

Bambi eyes would be used if you gave her a compliment about her eyes. Girls love this kind of stuff, it shows human warmth, it’s direct and confident too.

The reason you want to text her relatively soon is you don’t want it to go stale. Generally speaking attractive girls in big cities have busy lives and lots of options.

You don’t want to dissappear from her mind by delaying your opening message.

Don’t worry about whether it looks needy, and don’t get drawn into stupid text wars. Just send it when you want, and get to the point about meeting her.

Note: There is obviously a lot more to text game – here is a short guide on reviving cold leads using text / whatsapp.

Asking For A Girls Number : The Real Key

The real key to this is creating a powerful first impression by making her intrigued and sexually interested in you.

This is why you want to operate in an environment where you can be effective. Standing in the streets for 20 minutes is a total waste of time.

Here’s the kicker: Girls don’t generally need more than 3-4 minutes to make up their mind. Anything longer than that is really not necessary to ask for her number.

On the rare occasions that it is not, follow my guidelines here to avoid wasting your time.

It is paramount that you create sexual tension when you approach – you’ll need to check out my Secret Society video product for the lowdown on how to do this properly (it takes practice, confidence and skill).